Draft Results to Shake Up Power Rankings

Owners! Holy cow, we have finally made it to the season… following an epic draft, in which five players went for triple digits and everyone has resigned themselves to playing for second, the 2018 season is just 9 days away from commencing.

Your Commissioner right now

First, thanks to all the owners who participated – I don’t think we had auto-draft beyond one or two nominations throughout the draft – helping to make this a pretty fast and smooth draft. In fact, I only paused the draft once (to expedite nominations), which is somewhat unheard of, so thanks to everyone for being involved throughout the night.

As you can imagine, I have a lot of hot takes to drop, and saw some very curious trends throughout the night (notably a need for a top-three WR and/or RB, which bled through the early nominations and resulted in those triple digit figures). I’ll have more to discuss about league-wide results from the draft later this week (that’s right, you all get TWO articles from me this week!), but in the meantime, I was super excited to prepare the post-draft power rankings, which you’ll note are somewhat different than the post-keepers rankings just two weeks ago…

At this point, regardless of parity, the league has already been divided between elite, talented, and flawed teams. There’s definitely an upper echelon of rosters this afternoon, and you could tell a number of owners tried to creep into that category last night, even if it wasn’t all that successful. That said, injuries can certainly doom talented rosters, but let’s be clear that we know who the frontrunners are.

Without further ado…

The “Can I Pretend I Was on Auto Draft” Level:

14. The Fabulous Reilabito Birds (Previously: 9th)

Key Additions: Royce Freeman, Doug Baldwin, Travis Kelce, Michael Gallup

Analysis: I wasn’t thrilled with Smeet’s team to begin with, but man what a colossal cluster this one turned in to. He had a cheap Keenan Allen and paired that with Doug Baldwin, the same Doug Baldwin who had 100+ targets four straight years and on a Seattle offense with no running game or secondary receiving option… What does Smeet do? Hand him over to Dorne for Sterling Shepard and Rex Burkhead. Shepard is fine in a vacuum, but considering Saquon Barkley, OBJ and Evan Engram will be featured ahead of him, that’s just dumb. Burkhead may move the needle as he’s been claimed to be featured in the Pats’ offense, but when did we ever really believe in one RB in New England? Otherwise, Smeet is relying on a healthy Allen and some bit pieces to carry his team. What’s worse? Smeet kept $43 in auction money after the draft, likely to assist in his mid-season therapy sessions. No Bueno…

13. Team Motley (Previously: 14th)

Key Additions: Antonio Brown, Demaryius Thomas

Analysis: You can tell Makese was desperate to be relevant this year, investing nearly half of the $300 budget on AB. I don’t think he was wrong in the decision, but given he kept two QBs as keepers and his roster is pretty bare aside from AB and DT, I feel like he’s following the game plan of STLU in 2017, relying on AB to carry his team. I did like the Eagles D pick up for $7, but when that’s the second best thing you can say about a draft, I think we know how it went.

12. Kerryon My Wayward Johnson (Previously: 10th)

Key Additions: Drew Brees, Stefon Diggs, Jameson Crowder, Greg Olsen

Analysis: In a league where we all know home run hitters are necessary, Coop’s draft strategy was bizarre, sitting out most auctions and relying on sneaking in and grabbing discounted studs. Unfortunately, it didn’t really materialize. Aside from a $12 tag on Brees, his draft probably didn’t go the way he had hoped. His season now relies on Brees, Diggs elevating to elite status, Dalvin Cook being healthy AND getting a ton of touches, Kenyan Drake being the premiere RB in Miami, and like three other things. Ultimately, saving his dollars in the early stages meant he saved $33 at the end of the night, which is ultimately useless.

11. Theoriddickly, Still Alive (Previously: 12th)

Key Additions: Matthew Stafford, Jarvis Landry, Golden Tate, Mark Ingram

Analysis: Aside from being represented as the Cleveland Browns of #GMRRFFA, Matty Ice did a respectable job during the draft, swiping solid WR acquisitions and Stafford, who I am a fan of. Ingram is also a sneaky good pick, especially coming in to Week 5 with fresh legs. The TE combo of Jimmy Graham and Kyle Rudolph also is smart, though I don’t see any home run hitters moving the needle week-in and week-out for one of only two owners who have failed to reach the playoffs.

The “You May Be Right, But I Think I Have A Winning Strategy” Level

10. Vienna Sausages (Previously: 7th)

Key Additions: Joe Mixon, Cam Newton, Cooper Kupp

Analysis: This was a tough draft plan to follow, and needless to say I’m not in love with the end results. Le’Veon Bell as a $92 keeper is a steal, but I’m struggling with Mixon as his counterpart. Meanwhile, his wide receivers look nice on paper, but Cooper’s drops would make me very concerned and Garcon isn’t certain to be a #1 WR. I like Kupp for the price, but candidly not sold on a lot of his other choices (Stills, Burton, Powell, Hurns). There’s a lot of question marks aside from Bell and QB Cam Newton on this team, and I think we learned last year one stud can’t carry a team to a championship.

9. Dude Where’s My Carr (Previously: 11th)

Key Additions: AJ Green, Saquon Barkley

Analysis: My FIL came to play last night, but he didn’t stay too long. I am actually ok with the strategy of spending big on two potential home run hitters, though AJG may not be by WR standards. Barkley is going to succeed this season, if for no other reason than the Giants need him to after investing a second overall draft pick on him. Allen Robinson for $30 was decent and the FIL already kept a solid group of role players. His line up could be terrifying depending on the week, but its contingent on guys like Derek Carr being successful.

8. In Bob Mueller We Trust (Previously: 8th)

Key Additions: Odell Beckham, Larry Fitzgerald

Analysis: I really, really tried to hate on Toby’s team last night and today, but pairing OBJ and Fitz (who I have been HIGH on all season) with Carson Wentz makes him a viable threat week-in, week-out. I don’t love this team, but I don’t hate it like I do others. He may have missed some late draft options (Keelan Cole, Anthony Miller, Mike Williams) and chose safer picks like Chris Ivory and Ryan Grant, but it looks like the Assistant to the Commissioner could be competitive in the 2018 campaign.

7. Trubisky Business (Previously: 13th)

Key Additions: LeSean McCoy, Mike Evans, TY Hilton

Analysis: Look, the commissioner had a lot of work to do to make up for a near empty roster and keeping just Cousins and Howard. Sure, at first glimpse, you could argue he didn’t do enough, but he added two WR#1s plus McCoy, who is only one of three running backs to finish in the top 10 fantasy scoring over the last two seasons posting on average 17.5 points per game. Throw in Hill (who could easily steal red zones touches in New England), Rishard Matthews, and Mike Williams, and he rounded out a solid team, even if Theo Riddick is involved.

The “Trust Me, I’ve Done this Before” Level

6. Dorne Diredonkeys (Previously: 6th)

Key Additions: Rob Gronkowski, Doug Baldwin

Analysis: Last night, I would’ve been very down on Dorne’s end results, which were good but not great for the two-time finalist, but the Baldwin swipe is worthy of accolades. Adding him and Gronk to Michael Thomas is good, though I’m not in love with Dion Lewis, Adrian Peterson or Alex Smith. Adding Reed and Carson on the cheap was solid, but $27 for Chubb in a crowded (Cleveland, no less) backfield all but nullifies his keeper value. While Dorne is the premiere franchise in #GMRRFFA history, Mark has a ton of questions to address heading in to 2018.

5. Stockholm Syndrome (Previously: 4th)

Key Additions: Evan Engram, Marquise Goodwin, Anthony Miller, Keelan Cole

Analysis: Give credit to Silvio, who utilized a solid co-owner for his draft night while he gallivanted across Sweden this week. Already set with Hopkins and Zeke, Sylvio made some nice additions, though he may have overpaid for Engram and I’m not sold on either RBs, Penny or Johnson, both because of the situations they find themselves in. That said, I personally enjoyed the Goodwin, Miller and Cole pickups, all of whom could be studs mid-season, possible trade bait, or solid keeper stashes in 2019. Running backs could be an issue for the reigning champs, but otherwise a solid performance last night.

4. Denver Ponyboys (Previously: 2nd)

Key Additions: Tom Brady, Tyreek Hill

Analysis: Despite Carlos’ sister calling him a “traitor” for taking Brady, I was super impressed early with the ponyboys’ strategy, taking the QB and Hill for relatively manageable prices while pairing them with Fournette, Gordon and Ertz. Then, the wheels’ sort of went off the road, right? He spent $29 on Tarik Cohen and even drafted Marquise Lee, who’s out for the season. I’m ok with some of his bench guys, but walked away underwhelmed from one of the pre-season favorites...

The “Elite Competitor Outhustling You in the Draft” Level

3. Lets Eat A Goddamn Snack (Previously: 5th)

Key Additions: Deshaun Watson, Devonta Freeman, Brandin Cooks

Analysis: While I still question his depth at WR, Stabs absolutely crushed the draft, spending big on Freeman and nabbing Watson. Brandin Cooks could be a solid addition as a Flex, but Stabs also wisely took Randall Cobb (who could have a big season), Chris Thompson (if healthy, the only Redskin RB besides Peterson) and Quincy Enunwa. This is a solid all-around team in every sense of the word, most notably because of the depth.

2. Light, Kamara Action! (Previously: 3rd)

Key Additions: Aaron Rodgers, Julio Jones, Andrew Luck, DJ Moore, Derrius Guice

Analysis: Bravo to the best draft of the night – easily, I might add. Already with Kamara, McCaffrey, and Hogan, Garcia spent big on QB and WR, nabbing two of the best in their position, but he also wisely took Andrew Luck plus a plethora of solid bench players, notably DJ Moore and Cam Meredith. And, if anyone’s paying attention, stashing Guice on IR for the year for $3 may be the steal of 2018 as we look to future seasons. Seriously, this draft made me jealous…

The “Get the F*ck Outta the Champ’s Way” Level

1. The Big Gronkowski (Previously: 1st)

Key Additions: David Johnson, Phillip Rivers, Emmanuel Sanders

Analysis: Damn, I think before last night, we all thought I was joking about Galen being the prohibitive favorite, but he played the draft like the champ we expected him to be last night, at least the first half… With money to spend, he went big on Johnson, and paired him with Kareem Hunt for one of the best 1-2 RB situations in the league. I’m all for Rivers as a cheap QB option and snagging Sanders could solidify an already petrifying starting lineup. That said, he’s first easily, but I’d knock him for keeping his powder dry, saving $27 for the end of the draft instead of going after a few other solid additions, like Randall Cobb or Greg Olsen, or investing in some more potentially talented rookies may have made sense. Its picking nits though, but his only major concern right now is a lack of depth.