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  • Writer's pictureThe Commish

GMRRFFA Round 1 Recap: Final Four Set

That’s a wrap on an unbelievable Round 1 of the GMRRFFA playoffs; we’re set with the Final 4 and let’s be clear, the LB6 experiment probably didn’t garner a lot of support following the weekend’s action. That said, we only have 8 teams playing for anything that matters now (sadly, the Commish ain’t one of them), and this weekend’s action is sure to be wild.


Before we dive in to the post-season, let’s just recap why we all play GMRRFFA (because it certainly isn’t for the comradery or the Commish’s league-wide, 365-day commentary):

  • Four teams remain in contention for the grand prize of $800 which given the holiday season and the Commissioner’s need for a new wardrobe, all could provide a hearty Christmas gift to the best commish in fantasy football.

  • As a reminder, second place is a STEEP drop off of $200, third is $125 and fourth is $75 (ie one trip to Whole Foods for 4-5 bomb sushi rolls).

  • Also, another fun reminder because I know you’ve forgotten: all four teams in the money hunt made in-season trades with future draft dollars, meaning up to the first $100 they win over the next two weeks goes towards their 2019 league dues. This is fun: Trying to shake league dues from this group is literally a time-intensive process, including a far-fetched check cashing scheme in one instance and explaining what Paypal and Venmo are to no avail in another.

  • Finally, the LB6 has four teams vying for $109 for the 2019 draft budget, and let’s be very clear: I have faith in only one owner that they’d utilize that cash in an effective fashion, so the whole LB6 theory could be lost until more-sophisticated owners decide to tank in 2019 and beyond.

Team Chemistry in Fantasy Football

Looking back, this was probably a bad idea... Its been a disaster of two-plus weeks in GMRRFFA for our favorite uncle, Tito Galen… let’s set the stage: Despite a sluggish 1-3 start, Tito Galen had been the prohibitive favorite throughout the season (both by the Commish and league owners) thanks in large part to the keeper trifecta gold mine of Adams/Thielen/Hunt. Easily the highest-scoring team in the league and on a 7-1 tear heading in to Week 13… Then, due in large part to poor investigatory practices on the part of The Big Gronkowski officials, Kareem Hunt is dropped faster than a fart in the wind, Emmanuel Sanders (a sneaky good draft pick) tears his ACL, Tito’s squad crashes and burns in Week 13 to an uninspiring Unicorn, costing him the #1 overall seed (he’d still have lost ironically), and, finally, he runs in to a quasi-buzzsaw in Carlos in Round 1.


Let’s be very clear – Carlos has a stacked team but Melvin Gordon being out and an uninspiring Thursday night performance by Fournette and Dion Lewis (16 combined points) suggested the ponyboys were in for a long weekend. So, of course, Carlos’ Luck/Hilton connection coupled with Tyreek Hill go HAM (even with Ertz having a paltry 9 points). Meanwhile, Tito Galen posts easily his worst performance of the season (98 points total) and gracefully exits stage left.


Given the drama that surrounded The Big Gronkowski, this may be evidence that suggests fake football results can be impacted by real life drama. Given a longer-than-expected off season, perhaps the prematurely-presumed 2018 champ can prove some statistical evidence to support or nullify this theory. Tough loss regardless though he had a remarkable 2018.


Death of an Accountant

Alas, Mark Hutchinson, financial planner and CPA, posted the second-best total of the week and avoided being burned for the much-maligned Maholmes/Chubb for Kamara trade, but he still lost pretty comfortably to a peaking-at-the-right-time Garcia. The Carnival of Chaos posted the third highest total of the season in the league thanks to 30+ games from Zeke and Julio plus 53 from Amari Cooper… those three totaled 119.5 combined, or better than 8 teams in GMRRFFA action last weekend. Also, Todd Gurley threw in just 9 points, so 208 posted by Garcia could have been a lot worse.


FIL Survives

I officially hate Saquon Barkley, who literally wripped my heart out and carved it like a Thanksgiving turkey over the weekend… When I was up midway through the first Sunday games, I ominously dropped this line in Boys Chat:

Literally 31.8 seconds later, Barkley exploded for a 78-yard touchdown run and that was pretty much it for my day. FIL won fairly comfortably despite single digit performances from AB, A-Rob, PeyBar (just made that up, like it?), and the Chargers D. If he were vulnerable, this was the week, yet the Commish’s ragtag group saw a unique level of garbage from Cortland Sutton (note: not a keeper), Zay Jones and Austin Hopper, and largely didn’t sniff a chance at winning by the late Sunday games.


Quick note on driving myself insane: If I hadn’t sold my assets off three weeks ago, I’d have knocked off FIL as the 8th seed. Also, of note, believing FIL was at least a better opponent, I rooted hard for a Week 13 Tito Galen loss. Looking back, if I’d faced the uncle and not the father-in-law, I’d have won. I truly hate fantasy football.


Playoff Worthy?

When two teams in the playoffs combined are outscored by the Purveyor of Death, should their match-up really count? Kudos to the Sausage King for advancing 110-99.8 but its hardly a surprise that Makese’s season ended with another poor performance (sorry Makese), but the Vienna Sausages were by no means impressive. They won by ten points despite Makese’s Flex (Lesean McCoy LOL), D, and kicker combing for POINT 1 (you read that correctly). I’ll consider this a blip on the Sausage King radar but man that should’ve been an actual blowout. I’m presuming the SK squad was still drunk on powdered sugar and beignets from a last-minute bender in New Orleans but still…


LB6 = Failure

The problem with this experiment of trading current players for future draft dollars was very apparent in the inaugural LB6 playoff bracket, which candidly was straight awful. Four teams scored less than 100 points and the Smeet/Fredo match-up combined for just 98.2 points, or worse than nine teams’ totals for the week. When considering this bracket pre-season, I felt it would encourage trades but the tanking teams would be mindful of keeping some assets available for the potential $109 tax windfall.


It simply wasn’t the case, so let’s look at some key facts:

  • Smeet didn’t have a single player break double digits and his entire roster averaged sub-five points for the week;

  • 12 starters among the six teams posted less than three points;

  • Two starting tightends posted zero points, and the 6 starting TEs averaged 3.4 points;

  • 5 starters posted goose eggs or negative points; and,

  • Only one team (Stabs) had two players post above 20 points, and he still didn’t break 100, largely due to the remaining 7 starters scoring just 44 more points (or Smeet’s total score)

Look, it was an albatross of epic proportions, but there’s a second round of this next week, including two teams that didn’t break 75 points vying to advance to the LB6 Finals next week. We may need to take a hard look at how to improve things.


Yet, there’s an important message for the Tank-a-polooza teams: I also tried to tank, selling literally every asset I have, and in the last three weeks, I still averaged 122 points per week post-tanking. The point is, you can tank but actually still be viable. Take note for next year. (Also, good by you Coop and Toby Kobach, neither went full tank-mode, played their strategies as best as possible over the season, and come out ahead in LB6)


(Brief Pause)


Ok, now that I’ve used rubbing alcohol to clean my eyes regarding the LB6, let’s go see what we’ve got this coming weekend. Please send your positive feedback my way because there are no fantasy football commissioners out there devoting 2,000 words to a recap after their team has been eliminated from post-season contention besides me. That’s a fact and also I need to some encouragement after the weekend what ifs and a marauding group of Junior Riff Raff.


#1 FIL (10-4) vs. #4 The Sausage King (9-5)

Based on last week, this one is probably considered the appetizer by many, but we need to spend a minute acknowledging both for impressive seasons. Back in August, FIL started out post-keepers as #11 after keeping Woods Duke Johnson and Jay Ajayi, and the SK was #7 (presuming Bell would return). Post draft they weren’t much better, middling around the 9/10 spots respectively. So, the fact that they’ve both been top-tier teams this season, I think they deserve some recognition.


That said, they do have a fun match-up, but FIL’s fate rests almost exclusively on the Ryan/Barkley/AB combination – in match-ups where two of the 3 score 20+, FIL is 9-2, including last week (all three only achieved 20+ combined once, also a win). Ryan has definitely seen a slight dip in performance the last few weeks though 4 out of 5 he’s posted 20+ while AB has been solid. Barkley remains the beast most expected, posting a top-15 all-time fantasy football performance and the best by any rookie RB… ever. He has 3 30+ point games in his last four.


You know who doesn’t have that stat? CMC. But don’t worry for the Sausage King. His RB has been equally insane, averaging 33 over his last six games (by comparison, both of the Commish’s starting RBs (ie two players) did not combine for 33 points in a given week ONCE THE ENTIRE SEASON). That said, CMC needs help and the Terminator is possibly back this week. Vienna could see a scoring explosion, or they could struggle again this weekend.


#6 Garcia (8-6) vs. #7 Carlos (8-6)

Here we are with a monster match-up. Its not quite PoD vs Tito Galen, but its intriguing nonetheless. Garcia’s loaded roster features minimal holes beyond the QB and Defense. He’s averaging 161 points per week over his last five, Amari Cooper has posted 40+ in two of his past three, the Gurley/Zeke combo features two top-five RBs, Kelce is easily the best Tight End in the league, and Julio Jones has 41 catches/617 yards/5 touchdowns in his last six games.


For Carlos, he’s averaging 161 over his last five, the Luck/Hilton combo is averaging 50+ in its last four, Ertz is the #2 TE, and a potentially returning Melvin Gordon. These are stacked rosters, but the key unknown is Tyreek Hill’s injury, which at first looked like bad news for Carlos. If he does play, Hill has been averaging a solid 28 points per week over his last four. This match-up could see two teams easily post in excess of 160 points but the good news is we will know the results by the end of the late Sunday afternoon games.


LB6 Preview

Let’s just do this and be done with it - #10 Coop is facing off against #11 Toby Kobach, literally the only two teams that deserve to win the bracket. Choosing between these two is like choosing between your favorite child and the kid that keeps hanging out at your house at dinner time (take that as you will), but I for one am just happy at least one deserving team has a chance to win.


On the other side, #9 the salty-yet-shouldn’t-be-all-things-considered Unicorn gets a shot at redemption against #13 Fredo Maisel… the LB6 is the only bracket in the world in which two teams post less than 75 points in a week yet still advance but whatever. Candidly, I’m shocked that either team is projected to score more than 100 (Fredo) so lets see how this shakes out.


Finally, with the league winding down, send me your potential 2019 rule changes for consideration in January (commissioner@riffrafffootball.com). Cheers and good luck this weekend.

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