top of page
  • Writer's pictureThe Commish

#GMRRFFA Week 10 Power Rankings: Where You Vote and Then Wait Days for Official Results

Oh it happened again – twice in one week, #GMRRFFA owners (and hopefully our very special friend Angie) went to the polls and today the results of the most-certainly-the-most-important-election of our lifetime is ready to be unveiled… And much like voting, it took us a while to tabulate and verify numbers, so sincere apologies for the delay.


Our Week 10 power rankings are here – the second time this season I ignored my unbiased opinion-making self to let the masses have a say in the process. Between a ten-vote veto and now power rankings, its obvious the #GMRRFFA is the most democratic fantasy football league in America! I’m adding that to our LinkedIn profile and will make sure future sponsors are keenly aware about our small D democracy/fiefdom…


Now, on to the rankings…


14. In Bob Mueller we Trust (Toby)

Points: 0

Record: 3-6

Last Ranking: 11th


13. Bad Journeys (Smeet)

Points: 2

Record: 1-8

Last Ranking: 14th

Analysis: I refuse to take Smeet seriously until he actually wins again but he and Toby were tied last time we voted. Poor Toby – the Kris Kobach of #GMRRFFA – not even securing a single vote, meaning despite beating 2 6-3 teams in the last month, Toby Kobach could not get a single person to rank him 10th (1 point). Poor guy… in addition to those wins, he’s actually performed modestly well of late, averaging 119 per week. As for Smeet getting two voters to rank him 10th, the GMRRFFA Elections Committee needs to spend some time reviewing some curious discrepancies in votes for him, namely authors of the Smeet mailbag and their alleged fan club. To be continued…

12. The Pain Train (Fredo Maisel)

Points: 7

Record: 4-5

Last Ranking: 13th

Analysis: I’m excited to have Fredo back in the mix after a nice win last week over the former Purveyor of Death, LKA! In case he hasn’t mentioned it to you, did you know they both have the exact same record? Fredo could feasibly be back at .500 after his match-up with Toby Kobach, but I’m secretly excited for our upcoming sidechats of heart (“Commish, I still have a shot – how crazy is that?”) vs. head (“I only want money, I wanna be like Smeet.”)


11. Dead Sea (Unicorn)

Points: 8

Record: 4-5

Last Ranking: 10th

Analysis: Remember when he traded Zeke for Rodgers, Yeldon and Tate, boasting for the need to gain some consistency in his scoring or some gibberish? Welp, in the last two weeks since making the deal, he’s averaging 102 points… previous 7 match-ups? 108 points. I’m spending about 5,000 words dissecting his Nuk and Zeke trades soon (but not today) but if he’s contending (and I think he thinks he is), he’s got Stabs, FIL and Tito Galen ahead plus a guaranteed win over the hapless Bad Journeys, so he could be 5-8 pretty quickly.

10. Denver ponyboys (Carlos)

Points: 15

Record: 4-5

Last Ranking: 9th

Analysis: He lost last week, I have no idea what to make of him, and I’m candidly scared if I say anything, I’m gonna get an earful again from my soon-to-be-visiting mother-in-law, Grandma Riff Raff, which honestly isn’t worth the ink to make fun of the ponyboys. He does have some good news; one, Fournette is back this week; and, two, after Dorne this week, he has some straight-up winnable match-ups against the Commish, Fredo, and Toby Kobach.


9. Hurdy Gurley Man (Stabs)

Points: 27

Record: 4-5

Last Ranking: 12th

Analysis: I wrote about how he’s back, sort of, on Tuesday, and its about time. Over the next 3 weeks, he gets the Unicorn, LKA! and Toby, three owners essentially in the same boat vying for a handful of playoff spots (just kidding LKA! is fine), so he could theoretically be 6-6 heading in to Week 13 with a playoff spot on the line. This Brooklyn hipster has to be feeling better though with Gurley actually getting some help from folks like Deshaun Watson (averaging 32+ in last two weeks) but the week 12 bye for Gurley is no bueno in the midst of a playoff run. I have hope for this guy…

8. Kerryon my Wayward Johnson (Coop)

Points: 28

Record: 5-4

Last Ranking: 8th

Analysis: Fresh off saving democracy and foolishly asking to delay waivers from Wednesday to Thursday (he’s the John McCain of #GMRRFFA), Coop is salty, still smarting from an excessive dig from the Sausage King, and on his first winning streak of the season. I don’t want to jump the shark, but after he handles Smeet in Week 10 and derails the Pain Train next, he’ll be 7-4 heading in to back-to-back battles with Tito Galen and Makese. I’m not expunging on his roster more than what Riff Raff Ramblings highlighted Wednesday, but his team seems to be clicking with Drew Brees and a bunch of guys I’d try and trade for AJG pre-injury.

7. Trubisky Business (The Commish)

Points: 44

Record: 5-4

Last Ranking: 7th

Analysis: A perfectly fine rating for the illustrious Commish, even after a hiccup this week against Smeet with my lowest performance of the season. Riding a three-game winning streak, I’m perfectly ranked as the best mediocre team in the league (yay!), but I take comfort knowing I’m closer voting points-wise to #6 than I am #8. Huge match-up this week against the properly-ranked-if-not-panicking LKA! but there’s simply nothing to feel good about, knowing I’m the biggest underdog of any team in GMRRFFA this season (seriously, spend the next hour looking it up). My squad knows the odds are stacked against us, like Smeet at a Dairy Queen, but we will do battle and make HQ proud. Nonetheless, I’ll be 5-5 next week with three must-wins against Carlos, Makese, and the only villain I know who can’t grow a real mustache, the Sausage King.


6. Team Motley (Makese)

Points: 51

Record: 6-3

Last Ranking: 6th

Analysis: Did you realize Makese is 1-3 in his last four, including losses to two teams with losing records? Starting the season 5-0, the artist-formerly-known-as-Cinderella averaged a respectable 134.6, but in the last four, he’s dipped all the way down to 112 per game. His panic trade for Lesean McCoy is only netting him 11 points per week whereas Mohammed Sanu (a throw-in) has 8.5 (plus a Week 8 bye) and the future draft dollars I acquired are now earning 6.7% interest in a Cayman Islands’ account . The reality is this team remains way too inconsistent to match up evenly with the big boys and unfortunately, for him, Makese still has a nasty remaining schedule – Tito Galen, FIL, the Commish, and Coop – a combined 22-14 record. Yikes!

5. Lights Kamara Action! (Garcia)

Points: 55

Record: 4-5

Last Ranking: 5th

Analysis: I exhausted all the bad things I feel about LKA! on Tuesday, but just remember a few things heading in to our massive Week 10 match-up:


1. His lineup features: Tom Brady, Alvin Kamara, Ezekial Elliot, Julio Jones, and Travis Kelce;

2. Despite a five-game losing streak, LKA! remains a top-three scoring team overall;

3. His day-to-day routine involves watching Good Morning Football at 6:45 am, the Fantasy Focus podcast at 11:00 am, catching up on fantasy football programs from 12 to 5 pm and then watching the NFL Network’s 5 pm fantasy show;

4. This man would trade one – or both – of his kids for a top-10 wide receiver; and,

5. I’m the most unlucky fantasy football player ever, so I fully anticipate a six touchdown game for Julio.

4. Dorne Diredonkeys (Mark)

Points: 61

Record: 5-4

Last Ranking: 4th

Analysis: I remain perplexed that he’s second in the league in scoring with AP and the Chubb as his running backs. Then, I remember he has Pat Mahomes at QB, who only threw for three touchdowns last week (soooooo pedestrian), and OBJ/Michael Thomas/Landry at WR. I also remember when he thought dropping $67 in the ’18 draft on this year’s Gronk was a sound investment. Then, I conclude by thinking that, aside from Smeet, Mark’s probably the most-liked individual in GMRRFFA this year, so winning anything at this point (for a back-to-back finalist in 2016 and 2017) is pretty much gravy.

3. Dude Where is My Carr? (FIL)

Points: 78

Record: 6-3

Last Ranking: 3rd

Analysis: Despite a loss in Week 9, FIL proved he’s a legit foe in a tough loss to Tito Galen, even if FIL’s data analytics system failed to recommend picking up a more viable defense in that match-up. I like FIL’s roster and its potential, but don’t forget he’s 1-2 in his last three, averaging 116 per week.


(Quick Riff Raff homefront tangent: The Commish got home Monday and Mrs. Riff Raff asked what would be the worst thing she could tell me – I obviously responded “We’re moving?” because that’s the worst thing she could tell me as moving with Mrs. Riff Raff is a level of hell Dante never intended. Then she responded that while the Commissioner is on a league expansion mission next week in New Orleans, FIL and Grandma Riff Raff would be visiting last-minute. To her surprise, I got excited because I knew I had to see what FIL had in mind… the Junior Riff Raff and I call FIL, and he asks them “You guys excited to see your first place Grandpa next week?” Umm what? Anyways, he then asks if GMRRFFA owners in DC can watch football on Sunday – I say “Yes!” and then we hang up…that was a long story just for me to reiterate the worst thing I could ever do with Mrs. Riff Raff is move. It’s an awful experience.)

2. Vienna Sausages (The Sausage King)

Points: 88

Record: 6-3

Last Ranking: 2nd

Analysis: Little known fact about the power rankings vote? This guy put Makese at #10 one day before he said he’s picking Team Motley to knock off Tito Galen in Week 10. The most vertically challenged villain since the Brain, Vienna is riding high on a five-game win streak, and faces FIL on Sunday and Tito Galen next week. Following that, he has two massive rivalry match-ups with Smeet and the Commish, so he literally has no room for error as he vies for the division championship. Candidly, he needs Keenan Allen to exceed expectations for the final run of the season. His WR sitch is a straight mess, even when John Brown is in the line-up. Stay tuned because he could be #1 in two weeks or fighting the Commissioner for best mediocre team in the league.


1. The Big Gronk (Tito Galen)

Points: 100

Record: 6-3

Last Ranking: 1st

Analysis: Like Vladimir Putin, GMRRFFA’s own version of a unanimous leader, Tito Galen (note the adorbs pic of him and his beautiful daughter voting Tuesday in the GMRRFFA power rankings election) finally earns the proper respect from his colleagues after he was inexplicably voted 6th after a 1-3 start. Today, his fellow owners clearly followed the Commish’s lead and make him the clear cut favorite, and with good reason. During his current five-game winning streak, Tito Galen has posted above 150 points four times. By comparison, in that same five game stretch, the entire league posted 150+ a grand total of seven times… Its just insane. I’m done talking about him, its all in the stars and I take comfort knowing I won’t have to ask for his winnings back that I sent at the beginning of he season.

46 views0 comments
bottom of page