Greetings Riff Raff fans! I come at a sad moment in time, a moment where I’ve decided I needed to sell off – and that’s exactly what I did! 2019 is only a mere 41 days away so I’m prepared, begrudgingly, to look to the future.
Meanwhile, its Tuesday and I bring you some key updates below and on schedule. Since its Thanksgiving week, I’m including a quick power rankings in this column because I simply have too much respect for the working man to work Thursday. Meanwhile, some of the staff here at GMRRFFA unilaterally decided they aren’t working at all this week, so Riff Raff Ramblings is shelved until next week. That said, and even knowing you have no respect for me, I decided to do double time and will have a special Owners Profile out tomorrow. That’s right, even on a holiday week, your Commish is pumping out THREE columns for your enjoyment.
The third? Yea, that’s right, I went nuclear with the Riff Raff Wives Club yesterday – apparently, Mark Hutchinson is staying with “friends” this week and Fredo Maisel literally sat in silence at dinner with his spouse. The Monday massacre apparently hit a few owners hard… That said, I thought I’ll share a few snippets of feedback on the column from the wives themselves (though I’m keeping them anonymous mostly to eliminate any more acrimony on the home fronts of any owners) next week but man it wasn’t pretty… let’s just move on…
Trades Galore
I had an itchy trigger finger for some time and Monday seemed like the right time to move my Big 3 WRs and poop-fecta of remaining assets. While I’m happy I get $60 draft dollars and a cheap Michael Thomas keeper, I think its more telling who made the moves on the other end… Coop came out of hibernation and splurged on Julian Edelman to sure up his Flex spot (bye Doug Martin) and Carlos went all in on Mike Evans after I wished him luck with Theo Riddick being his Flex.
Coop’s move was sound, but wow Carlos now is even more daunting. The ponyboys were the league’s top-scorer for the second time in a row In Week 11 and now add a legit Flex option for the homestretch. Carlos’ line-up is stacked – Luck, Fournette, Gordon, Hill, Hilton, Ertz, Evans. He may not be the favorite or the eventual champ, but does anyone want to face him?
Meanwhile, Garcia went all-in, swapping a cheap keeper in Kamara for Todd Gurley and Brandin Cooks. Swapping the top two RBs in fantasy football is perfectly ok, and both are studs but not posting quite as good of numbers as a few weeks ago. I candidly think it’s a wash, but the Cooks addition for Garcia will help, considering his WRs beyond Julio Jones are Amari Cooper, Willie Snead, and the carcass formerly know as Sammy Watkins (Side note: Is Watkins even viable any more after KC posted 51 points yesterday and he only picked up 1.4 points? Banged up or not, Watkins remains the most frustrating player ever in fantasy football). The addition of Gurley and Cooks adds, on average, about 8 points to Garcia’s roster, so it makes sense even at a hefty price tag.
Finally, Dorne’s Mark Hutchinson sent the cheap-keeper Michael Thomas and Eric Ebron to the illustrious Commish for Nuk, Kittle and Tarik Cohen. Initially, seeing Nuk in a deal suggested it could’ve been lopsided, but Ebron (his Week 11 goose egg aside) remains a top-5 TE. Tarik Cohen is a nice addition as well for Mr. Hutchinson though he joins a very crowded backfield for Dorne, including Chubb, Coleman, Carson, and Judge Ito Smith.
Recapping Week 11
Given it’s a full plate of GMRRFFA news, I wanted to quickly look at the Week 11 action, which essentially sealed the fates of the Commish, Stabs, and Toby Kobach, all of whom are absolutely done thinking we can contend this year. Toby probably had the worst luck, squandering a 48-point lead to Dorne during that insane MNF match-up (Mahomes dropped 51.8!!!). Wentz’s poo poo platter definitely didn’t help. Meanwhile, FIL wasn’t his best but handled Makese pretty easily; Team Motley might be 7-4 and in first place, but are we really taking this team seriously in the post-season? Tito Galen knocked off the Sausage King by 25, even when his roster didn’t impress that much (For context, Hunt only had 20 so this is by no means a knock). Garcia is starting to roll again, easily winning his second straight match-up over Stabs, and don’t sleep on Coop, who managed a critical win over Fredo Maisel and has now won 3 of his last four.
Abbreviated Power Rankings
Ok – let’s be quick on this and get excited Smeet, I can’t make you 14 this week. Also, don't get use to the new names because they're changing faster than rosters at this point in GMRRFFA:
14. Manhattan Indians (Unicorn) – Record: 4-7
Analysis: It was bound to happen sooner or later…
13. Bad Journeys (Smeet) – Record: 3-8
Analysis: Don’t look now, but Smeet is 3-2 in his last five, all of which have been decided by 10 points or less.
12. Gruden’s Manifesto (Fredo Maiserl) – Record: 4-7
Analysis: I love our side chat earlier where he reevaluated only trading for future draft dollars.
11. Trubisky Business (The Commish) – Record 5-6
Analysis: League office assures fans that we will fix 2019 season to be as advantageous for Trubisky Business as possible.
10. In Bob Mueller we Trust (Toby Kobach) – Record: 4-7
Analysis: He’s 3-3 in his last six and he could have won all three losses, especially Week 11. Poor Toby.
9. Honey Funchess of Oats (Stabs) – Record: 5-6
Analysis: Stabs’ preemptive Kamara acquisition is likely the best trade of the season.
8. Team Motley (Makese) – Record: 7-4
Analysis: No need to justify this ranking after a heinous Week 11 performance but he’s still in good shape for a division crown.
7. Kerryon my Wayward Johnson (Coop) – Record: 6-5
Analysis: Don’t sleep on Coop (ie the big spoon) because he’s not going away quietly.
6. Vienna Sausages (The Sausage King) – Record: 6-5
Analysis: This was a tough loss, especially with Keenan Allen having himself a game (24 points) but the Sausage King has dropped two in a row to potential playoff opponents.
5. Denver ponyboys (Carlos) – Record: 6-5
Analysis: Previous to his last two weeks, Carlos only broke 150 points once (Week 1). He has a cakewalk schedule the rest of the way against Fredo and Toby, a combined 8-14.
4. Dorne Diredonkeys (Mark Hutchinson) – Record: 6-5
Analysis: Monday night was a win-win for Mark; not only did he watch Mahomes bring him a critical win from the confines of his couch, he then got to sleep on the confines of his own couch.
3. Carnival of Chaos (Garcia) – Record: 6-5
Analysis: Back-to-back stud performances as the Purveyor of Death looks to reclaim his place among the elite.
2. Dude Where is My Carr? (FIL) – Record: 8-3
Analysis: FIL’s second worst performance of the year didn’t matter against an overmatched Team Motley.
1.The Big Gronkowski (Tito Galen) – Record: 7-4
Analysis: After a disappointing 116 point performance in Week 10, Tito Galen gets back to business in an easy win over the Sausages.
Playoffs?
Two weeks remain and we are seeing the playoff picture come in to focus, though not necessarily due to records. In fact, the fire sale by the Commish and Stabs coupled with Toby’s loss suggests the top 8 are all likely in the playoffs with mostly seeding on the line. One spot is already clinched, three more teams can clinch on their own with wins. Let’s take a look…
1. FIL (8-3) – Clinched playoff spot and division title; can clinch number one overall seed with one win and Tito Galen loss.
2. Makes (7-4) – Can clinch playoff spot with win ; can clinch division title with win and one more loss by Tito Galen, Coop, and the Sausage King.
3. Tito Galen (7-4) – Can clinch with one win or loss by Stabs; can clinch division title with two wins and losses by Makese and Garcia.
4. Garcia (6-5) – Can clinch playoff spot with one win, or losses by both Stabs and the Commish; can clinch division title with two wins, two losses by Makese, one loss by the Sausage King, and one loss by Tito Galen.
5. Mark Hutchinson (6-5) – Can clinch playoff spot with one win and loss by Stabs.
6. Coop (6-5) – Can clinch playoff spot with win and loss by the Commish; can clinch division title with two wins and one loss by Garcia.
7. The Sausage King (6-5) – Can clinch playoff spot with one win and one loss by Stabs and the Commish.
8. Carlos (6-5) – Can clinch playoff spot with one win, or losses by Stabs, the Commish, and the Unicorn.
9. Stabs (5-6) – Can clinch playoff spot with one win and two losses by Mark or the Sausage King; OR, can clinch playoff spot with two wins and two losses by Tito Galen, Coop, and Garcia.
10. The Commissh (5-6) – Can clinch playoff spot with one win and two losses by Coop, or two wins and one loss by Coop.
There’s your scenarios – the 4-7 teams are all still mathematically still alive but let’s live in a world where it doesn’t happen, at least not until next week.
Key Deadlines Reminder
Just to flag, but the trade deadline is Wednesday, November 28th – in addition, any player you would like to consider keeping for 2019 must be on your roster at the beginning of Week 13, Thursday, November 29th.
Preview of week 12
Because I thought this one through last summer, you’ll note that these last two weeks are heavy on intra-division match-ups (only one match-up per week isn’t) so a lot can change in these last two weeks, notably between Garcia and Mark Hutchinson, the loser finding themselves at 6-6, and tied with the recently selling Stabs potentially. If I still did rivalry weeks, the Garcia vs Mark match-up would be it, but I canned that a few weeks ago when no one cared about my backstories. Coop’s in an important match-up for the same reason, falling back to 6-6 leaves a lot of scenarios where he could be knocked out of the playoffs in Week 13. Also, Makese has a nice payback week against the Commish, who’s been knocking his roster for months now. It’d be ironic if he clinched the division title while serving a can of whoopass on yours truly.
Stay tuned because we have a lot left in the season… Enjoy your turkey and please, for the love of God, do not microwave it…