GMRRFFA Week 13 Power Rankings & So Much More
- The Commish
- Nov 29, 2018
- 7 min read
Greetings Riff Raff fans, all of you ready to see yet again how I mistakenly rank all the owners of GMRRFFA in this week's power rankings as we head into the final week of the regular season. Good news! I’m doing my final ranking before the post-season (briefly) today; but even better, I’m deep diving in to the Winners and Losers of yesterday’s trade deadline, which was literally insane:
On the power rankings, let’s be clear: this is literally the least important rankings of the season, which is why I’m spending 50 words on it before I spend an unnecessarily lengthy amount of time reflecting on the trades that were. Playoffs start next week, and the reality is we all know who #1 is, we all know there’s 5 or 6 legitimate contenders, and we all know the Loser’s Bracket is the place to be. That’s why I’m just side-barring the power rankings on the right – judge me or whatever, but let’s be realistic that this is all being settled by Christmas and let's move on…
Before we get in to the Winners and Losers of the trade season, let’s take a look at a few key numbers and figures:
109 – That’s the number of dollars that will be rewarded to the winner of the Loser’s Bracket, a creative way to keep the dregs of the league (ahem, Smeet and Fredo) engaged in the season even when their teams are in shambles. Despite a ton of acrimony about allowing future dollars to be traded last year, the GMRRFFA Ad Hoc Rules Committee (yes, we have one - does your league?) did a fantastic job setting up the initial tax, and this number is insane. It’s a lot of money – players drafted in 2018 who went for $100+ include David Johnson, Julio Jones, Saquon Barkley, and Antonio Brown. The six teams in the bracket simply need to string together three straight wins (which most haven’t accomplished all season) and they all of a sudden have a stud next year.
52 – That’s the number of total trades made in 2018. 52 fucking trades, 23 of which involved 2019 draft dollars. Its insane. In 2017, the League only made 25 trades total (including 2 vetoed!), so yea, this was relatively crazy.
14 – That’s the number of teams – or everyone – who made a deal this season. Last year, all but three made a trade.
7 – That’s the number of teams who completely maxed out their allotted $75 trade dollars over the course of the season. Of course, three picked up extra draft dollars subsequently, but its clear owners were willing to sell the future for today, just like the Republican tax plan passed last winter.
3 – That’s the number of times Doug Baldwin was traded this season, including the very first trade of the season back in August, when Smeet’s tailspin began after he traded the Seattle WR for Rex Burkhead and Sterling Shepherd:
1 – That’s the number of teams who refused to make a single trade featuring future draft dollars. Its also the same team that is #1 team in our final power rankings.
In any case, we can’t shy away from the fury of yesterday’s deadline, so here’s a look at the Winners and Losers of the craziest trade season in GMRRFFA history… I look forward to offending more than half the owners below, and hopefully they can at least appreciate where a third party views their moves, but alas in this league, we’ve grown accustom to complaining so whatever. (Also, Commissioner’s Note: I’m saving Fredo’s review until towards the end to make certain he has to at least peruse the rest of the column before reading about himself)
Loser: The Sausage King
His Killmonger comparison aside, he essentially traded Fredo $7 and keeper rights to LeVeon Bell, AJG and Cooper for CMC, and Mixon/Michel/Kupp for a now-departed AB. Its not the worse performance of the season trade-wise, but if we extended the trade deadline a few more days, he’d probably swap out Conner for TJ Yeldon and hope CMC can score 75 in the playoffs.
Winner: Stabs
If he kept Gurley, I’d call him a winner. If he kept a recently-acquired Kamara, he’d be a winner. And, when he acquired CHEAP keepers in Pat Mahomes ($16 next year) and the Chubb ($37), he’s still a winner. I’d probably have stayed put with Kamara but this was a win-win situation from the get go.
Loser: The Unicorn
This one is simply because of the Zeke deal, which has been disastrous for the Unicorn. Pre-Zeke trade, the Unicorn averaged 108.5; post-Zeke trade, he’s averaging 101.2. Subsequently, Zeke has averaged 29 points per week for Garcia. I candidly don’t get the last-minute Russell Wilson and Matt Brieda deal for Cam either, but why pour salt on a still fresh wound?
Loser: Mark Hutchinson
This mad scientist/financial adviser made more questionable moves this season than pretty much anyone not working for Bear Stearns. Obviously, turning Burkehead and Sterling Sharpe in to OBJ early was sound, but he subsequently traded away Jordan Reed for Randall Cobb, Edelman for Sammy Watkins and Jordan Howard, Howard and Corey Davis for Jarvis Landry (who’s been underwhelming the second half of the season), a cheap Micheal Thomas keeper and Eric Ebron for Nuk, Kittle and Tarik Cohen (who he didn't even start so this trade is a wash), Chris Carson for a one week rental of Kirk Cousins (who he was forced to drop), Mahomes and Chubb for Kamara, and finally Cohen for Watson, all while giving away $75 future draft dollars. If you understand all of that, congratulations, but remember its essentially boils down to swapping Mahomes for Watson as far as performance is concerned and I have no idea how that equates to a sound investment strategy.
Winner: Carlos
He’s had some bad luck with both Gordon and Fournette likely out, especially with the Chargers' RB potentially missing multiple weeks, but he held pat and picked up a wildly undervalued Dion Lewis for $7 from Toby. He might not have had the money to snag Gordon's back-up from Smeet, but would you rather have Lewis for $7 or Ekler for $25? Also, he made a sound decision to trade for Mike Evans last week.
Incomplete: Coop
Previous to last week, Coop had largely been silent on the trading front, but he splurged for Julian Edelman ($30), Larry Fitzgerald ($7), and Austin Ekler ($25) and now finds himself with just $225 for next year’s draft, seemingly all in on 2018 yet in a win-or-go-home match-up against Makese this week. A post-season run means these gambles make sense, but those prospects are murky at best.
Loser: Makese
I respect the AB trade for pieces early this season and adding Baldwin late from Toby, but everything in between has been baffling… he spent $30 to get LeSean McCoy, who’s scored exactly two touchdowns all season and isn’t even in Makese’s starting line-up this week. Meanwhile, in retrospect, let’s be honest; dropping $30 for Josh Gordon seems like a poor decision. Finally, sending away an injured-but-cheap keeper in Cooper Kupp for Crabtree and Derrick Henry, neither of whom he even started, was a strange move.
Winner: Tito Galen
Why? He made one trade in August – getting Lamar Miller for Kenny Golladay – but he held pat while literally everyone made decisions based on his stacked roster. Seriously, the tanking teams are frantically attempting to avoid sneaking in to the 8th seed of the playoffs while all other contenders tinker with their teams to become more viable (and I’d argue the most likely competitors mostly didn’t help themselves).
Loser: FIL
Sorry but it has to be said (ensuring an awkard holiday visit) – he made one deal involving future draft dollars (and a few others for Matt Ryan and AB which were decent), but he sent away $30 to pick up Peyton Barber, who he may or may not start (its him or Duke Johnson). Taking Ebron is solid, but he essentially picked up an extra four points from his previous TE, Austin Hooper, so the trade probably leaves more people scratching their heads than commending him.
Incomplete: Garcia
He started off the draft dollar horse trading when he acquired Travis Kelce for $40 in early September and essentially capped out with Golden Tate later that month (yikes). His trades have been furious the last few months and his loaded line-up says he’s all in this year. Recognizing he’s in win-now territory, I think he made the right call trading away a cheap keeper in Kamara for a slight upgrade in Todd Gurley and WR help, but lets not forget he’s in a precarious position draft-wise next year, so its championship or bust over the next four weeks.
Winner: Smeet & Fredo (they're basically one in the same so this makes sense, right?)
Post-season, we will spend some time examining rosters, keepers and drafts, but these two basically scrapped the season early and now account for 1 in every 5 2019 draft dollar available, which is remarkable. I don’t think Fredo has a chance of winning the Loser’s Bracket, but if Smeet adds $109 to his current balance, he’d have 13% of all available dollars all by himself. Its impressive he remains relevant, and kudos specifically to Smeet for nabbing $25 for Austin Ekler from a desperate Coop.
Loser: Toby Kobach
Aside from the dreadful OBJ deal with Mr. Hutchinson, Toby wasn’t swindled or anything as he usually is, but he’s mostly categorized in the “Loser” column simply for waiting too long to hold a fire sale. His creative advertising aside (note above), he could only muster snagging $25 future draft dollars for four assets traded – Fitz, Lewis, Baldwin, and Uzomoah. By comparison, your Commish acquired $25 for McCoy, $30 for Edelman, $30 for Evans, and $30 for Ebron/Barber in individual trades, and Smeet received $25 for a short-term starter in Ekler at the deadline. The spending power he'd hoped for simply wasn't available by the time Toby liquidated his assets (insert Baked Alaska joke here). Even worse, he didn’t even notify deadline spenders that his best assets – Juju, Lindsey and Aaron Jones – were available for potential offers until 90 minutes before the deadline. He simply misread the market.
Winner: The Commissioner
I’m not one to heap accolades upon myself or give myself insanely cool Marvel doppelgangers, so let’s allow a few third parties to analyze my trade activities:
Shifting gears, nobody has made the transition to non-contender and seller, smoother and more effortlessly than The Commish, seemingly raking in $30 in fun coupons for every player on his roster. The Commish took the same wheeling and dealing strategy and applied it exceptionally well to his fire sale. Take note, Bad Journeys, Gruden's Manifesto, and In Robert Mueller We Trust, not only are you terrible at managing winning lineups, but you’ve also been exposed as sub-par sellers. It’s been quite a sight to behold and I, for one, am here for it.
Oh, hey, you want more? Sure, let's hear it from the top fish in the pond, Tito Galen:
In total, [the Commish] took home $139 in future salary, a couple of solid keepers and could still make noise in the playoffs... Makes me sick to think about it.
Coming from Tito Galen, that's about the best compliment I could receive from this group.
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