Playoffs Round 1 Recap: Inside the Sweat Box

Whoa Nelly! What a first round of playoffs and congrats to the Final Four who moved on last night. But let’s be clear, all four sweated it out for most of Sunday and 3 of us well in to Monday, so congrats to everyone who may have been on the losing end this week. I’m of the opinion that fantasy football is a lot more fun when its competitive, and like much of the season, all 8 in the playoffs brought it this week.

Here’s a quick look at the match-ups to highlight how tight Round 1 really was…

· Playing it a bit Too Cute – Trubisky Business tried a little too hard this week, identifying Cincy’s defense against the Bears, who hadn’t scored more than 30 points in like a decade or something. In any case, he dropped a top 10 defense for the Bengals, and it almost bit him in the butt, as the new Defensive addition dropped -5 this week. The porous decision almost cost me, especially with Kenyon Drake and Dwayne Allen making up ground on Monday Night Football. Unfortunately, the “too cute” theme extended to ATHNN, who dropped Eric Ebron for Allen, believing Allen would be a solid Gronk replacement. Unfortunately, he posted just 3 points, and Ebron posted an impressive 14 points, meaning he would’ve knocked off the #1 seed if he kept Ebron…

· McCown May Not Have Been the Answer – Poor STLU, who snuck in to the playoffs in Week 13 thanks to Antonio Brown, who then saw the #1 WR drop 36 more points this week (God, is Antonio Brown the scariest player in this league?). In a QB crunch, STLU was forced to play McCown, who had previously dropped 32.8 and 34.9 points in Weeks 12 and 13, but was shellacked this week by Denver posting a -2.3 while STLU suffered a 24 point loss. Our reigning champ Dorne with 3 players on MNF had  an easy time overcoming a slight deficit last night, but a stronger McCown showing may have changed the narrative for Mark…

· Cutler OutBrady’d Brady – It probably shouldn’t have been so hard for Galen with Tom Brady and Rex Burkehead going last night, but Stabs dropped the highest total for a losing team in the first round (by far), making the Patriots’ struggles cause a great sense of consternation for Galen. His crew eventually eclipsed Stabs, but it wasn’t until late in the 4th quarter, which no one really anticipated considering Brady being a top-3 quarterback this season…

· What Could’ve Been – ANUS won comfortably by the end of the second round of games on Sunday, but he was nervous, popping tums like gummies on a bachelor party. Pete’s WSPDs, only the second-greatest postseason  underdog in league history, only lost by a slim 15 points or so, and while Johnathan Stewart hasn’t done anything all season, putting him in the lineup actually would’ve knocked ANUS off. No fault to Pete, who put up an incredible campaign this season, but I know he’s a little disappointed in his results this week.

A few more playoff notes… Round 1 was the first time all 3 top seeds won, and it sets up an epic clash in the semifinals… Not surprisingly the four strongest and most consistent teams throughout the season are moving to the Final Four… The four teams are the highest point scorers in the league, and all are on strong rolls…. Trubisky Business has won five of his last 6, ANUS 11 of his last 13, Galen’s Groonks have won 6 of their last 7, and the reigning champs have posted victories in 4 of their last 6... All four can win the championship even without too much luck. Each one has top 5 players at multiple positions too – ANUS has the #1 QB, #1 Defense, #2 WR and #4 TE (hey, I’m not even including Ezekial Elliot here). Trubisky Business has the #5 QB, #5 WR and #1 TE. Galen has the #3 QB, #4 RB, #4 WR and #5 TE. And last but not least, Dorne has the #4 QB and #1 Kicker… It’s an absolutely loaded semi-finals, so its time to get excited.

Instead of foretelling who will win, I felt it’d be more fun to help guide you to who you should root for instead… With further ado, let’s jump in with top 3 reasons to root for each team…

Trubisky Business –

1) There aren’t many redeemable qualities about your illustrious commissioner, but at some point you have to sort of give him his due because he spends so much time on fantasy football that you’ll almost feel bad if he loses.

2) His shrewd tactics may have been controversial – or even outlandish making for great league engagement – but you hafta tip your hat to anyone who could turn Kenny Britt, Eric Decker, Wendell Smallwood, and Dak Prescott in to AJ Green, Travis Kelce, Marshawn Lynch, and Justin Tucker.

3) At least for the semi-finals, you know you want the commissioner to win, just so you can root against him in the Finals and feel a sense of comradery amongst your fellow owners… He’s the evil empire to your small-market team

ANUS –

1) First off, give him his due because he’s been lights out – posting some of the best numbers consistently even without Ezekial Elliot (until next week, so heads up to Galen and Dorne). He’s won 11 out of 13 after starting 0-3, so he’s got real momentum and consistency throughout most of the season.

2) After that 0-3 start, Silvio took grave measures to change his name from something stupid to A Nu Start, noting the acronym would be ANUS, and it’s literally solid gold. The clever name coupled with the 11-2 record since Week 4 are probably the two biggest developments of the League  that no one’s talked about until now, to be honest.

3) We all love a winner, and Silvio is the biggest winner in the league. He’s been the prohibitive favorite to win the championship since Week 4, and owners like you and I celebrating his championship reign beginning this week seems totally appropriate. We love winners; Yankees, Cubs, Patriots, Silvio, Trump. I’m in the mood to celebrate so won’t you join me?

Galen’s Gronkettes –

1) He’s not afraid to sit tight when it makes the most sense to him, like the time he passed on Gronk in a proposed trade…Hindsight’s 20/20 but Gronk’s suspension this week would’ve cost Galen his 1st round matchup vs Stabs, so kudos!

2) He gets overlooked, but Galen’s draft and trades were nothing short of impressive. Thielen, Adams, Hunt plus adding Brady, Engram and Burkehead have proven a balanced roster development strategy could pay off in the long run. The “small market owner makes good” is always a good story…

3) He’s battle tested for sure – facing the best opponent in the 1st round of any semi-finalists, Galen stepped up and dropped his highest score of the season – even with Tom Brady being outplayed by Smokin’ Jay Cutler.

Dorne –

1) We hafta love a dynasty, right? Dorne’s two wins away from being the very first dynasty in the league, after upsetting the league last year on the back of Drew Brees to win the championship as an 8th seed. What happens if he wins the championship? We are required to name future championships after his team, the Dorne Championship Trophy. That’s something to root for.

2) If he wins the title, he said he’ll let his kids actually keep the happy meal toys they get at Christmas dinner as opposed to selling them on Ebay (true story).

3) The champs have an unconventional team, held together by duct tape and bubble gum. Alex Smith may be the #4 QB, but he’s only had 2 20+ games in the last 6 weeks. He made sneaky-sound draft picks, like Jarvis Landry, and sneaky-quiet trades for LeSean McCoy and Greg Zuerlein. He’s less boisterous (ie less obnoxious) than the other three teams in the Final Four, but his unconventional personnel strategy is the best year-over-year program in the league.

There you go – that’s three legit(ish) reasons to support each team this weekend, but just be excited because this may be the best Final Four this league will ever see. Good luck and check the league page to pick your favorite team in the poll section.

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