Welcome to the season owners! You finally get on-the-field analysis from your illustrious commissioner and man I couldn’t wait to get to the #GMRRFFA league offices to break down an uber-exciting week 1, where 6 of 7 match-ups weren’t decided until the Sunday night game and five match-ups had to wait until Monday! I seriously forgot how much fun the competition in this league can be.
Now that we know who won/lost, I am also super excited for the inevitable flury of panic moments in the league, where I know you’re dropping good players because they didn’t perform last week for the likes of no-name tight ends and fantasy football re-treads, but a word of caution: in the past 2 seasons, teams finishing with just seven wins advanced to the playoffs, so one loss early doesn’t cripple your chances.
Additionally, we had some premiere match-ups this week (Carlos vs Galen for example) – results matter for wins and losses, but keep in mind playoff seeding is determined on head-to-head match-ups, so if you knocked someone off that has the potential to be competitive in the postseason, you’ve also secured a huge playoff point, so congrats to Carlos and Makese especially.
Now, on to a recap of the Week that was…
#GMRRFFA Feature Match-up
There was no better match-up this week than Galen’s The Big Gronkowski vs Carlos’ Denver ponyboys, and we were treated with an epic clash of legit title contenders right out of the gate. Its no secret that Galen’s squad is the favorite in #GMRRFFA this year (and I hope they win because I already paypal’d Galen the championship money), and his team performed solidly, posting 156 points (3rd highest of the week). TBG has two players post 30+ (Rivers and Emanuel Sanders) and three more go for 18+ (DJ, Adams, and Thielen), yet he was still knocked off by just 1.5 points, thanks to Jordy Nelson sneaking in 5 points in the late Monday night game for Carlos (Commissioner’s note: The irony of Galen’s fortunes – a dedicated Patriots fan – hoping that the white WR doesn’t do anything shouldn’t be lost on any of us). Carlos’ roster is stacked, but his victory relied almost exclusively on Brady (27 points), Melvin Gordon (30), Tyreek Hill (38) and the Panthers defense (20)… I don’t want to say I told you so, but I’ve been hammering that home run hitters are critical in #GMRRFFA, and while both squads brought the pain, Carlos’ horses – especially Gordon and Hill – were just a bit too much.
This is a fun early match-up that I can already tell will have serious playoff implications – while both are in different divisions, seedings are based on head-to-head match-ups, so don’t be surprised when I bring week 1 up again in December… well, if Carlos actually adjusts his lineup during the season.
Makese Exorcises his Demons, Grabs a Snack
Look, this match-up was really a game of the haves vs the have nots. Stabs boasted one of the very best rosters and sat at #3 in the power rankings heading in to the match-up, but even with Chris Thompson and Todd Gurley posting around 25 points, he was smoked by Makese – who enjoyed a sensational 29-point performance from Raiders’ TE Jared Cook (best TE performance of the week) while Joe Mixon dropped another 26 points. More impressive, Makese also had solid performances from Marshawn Lynch (13 points), D-Thomas (18), and Cooper Kupp (18). While I wouldn’t expect a 30-point game from Cook ever again, perhaps Makese has some solid horses to keep him competitive week in and week out. Stabs, on the other hand, should be concerned. Not only did Deshaun Watson wildly underperform, Delanie Walker’s injury opens a huge roster hole for the contender. Coupling Walker’s absence with largely unimpressive starting WR play from Marvin Jones Jr and Cooks (25 points combined) should be concerning (though Stabs benched Randall Cobbs and Quincy Enuwa this week, who combined for 49 points). I wouldn’t write off Stabs after one week, but he may have some difficult personnel choices in the weeks ahead.
Fredo Makes History
I know, for a fact, that the oft-maligned Fredo Minnella rarely reads my columns, often skimming through each (if I’m lucky) to find tidbits about his team’s fortune. Best known for his wife knocking his 2017 draft out of the park before he butchered his roster pre-regular season, Fredo largely has been a bottom feeder owner (9-18 record in the first two seasons), but oh how one week of 2018 could change things. Fredo knocked off Smeet last night, no thanks to Matthew Stafford and his 4 INTs, giving Theoriddickly, Still Alive an early season win, and for the first time in #GMRRFFA history, Fredo is above .500! With the win, Fredo now has 10 wins in 2+ seasons, but he’s never finished above five in a season. I’m not saying he’s got playoff-potential yet (while he’s undefeated, Fredo scored the 3rd lowest total for the week and his QB play needs to improve), but a Week 1 victory could propel Fredo’s team. He faces a tough test against the illustrious 1-0 commish this week, and he needs Stafford to perform.
Dorne Sends League-wide Notice
Perennial powerhouse Dorne Diredonkeys absolutely put the league on notice this weekend after finishing outside the top-5 in our latest power rankings (new rankings come out Thursday!), dropping 171 points for the highest in Week 1. Even more impressive, Mark’s Dorne squad had FIVE players post 22+ point games. By comparison, only the commish and Light, Kamara, Action! had three (2nd highest). Meanwhile, two matchups (Coop vs. my FIL & Fredo vs Smeet) had a combined 3 players post 22+ points among four squads. In fact, seven #GMRRFFA rosters had one or ZERO players drop 22+ points this week. Look, I don’t believe Alex Smith and Adrian Peterson will be averaging 22 points per game this season, but OBJ, Michael Thomas (who should’ve had more if not for a case of the drop-sys) and Gronk are all studs. If one or more of them start producing 30+ games consistently, Dorne is going to be formidable all season long.
Reigning Champs’ Banner Night Spoiled
Silvio was all set to hoist his 2017 championship banner in the rafters this past weekend, but man what a dud he threw out instead, posting a humbling 68 points enroute to a thumping by the commish. I don’t claim to think Silvio’s in trouble (he started 0-3 last year before winning 11 of 13 to win the championship belt), but he should be concerned about the points. In 2017, he posted triple digits in all but 2 games (Weeks 1 and 3, both Ls). Let’s not overreact to one bad week, but Nuk isn’t gonna Nuk without Watson playing better, Zeke had a solid performance but without a passing game, how confident should anyone feel about a Dallas offense, and Russell Wilson lost Doug Baldwin (it always goes back to Baldwin) while grumbling about his offensive line. The Saints D posting in the negative and Marquise Goodwin being hurt didn’t help, but without Nuk and Zeke posting 40, should the reigning champ be concerned?
Waiver wire
Last year, Eric Garcia dropped $150+ on Tarik Cohen and, last week, Vienna Sausages’ own Jon Del dropped $126 on James Conner, so I am absolutely dying to see the bidding wars on Wednesday for free agents (12 pm Eastern Time). I’m pretty sure every WR the Pats sign this week will go in excess of $50 by needy owners and anyone who thinks Ted Ginn Jr will be cheap has another thing coming. Meanwhile, desperate owners (ahem, Stabs) taking flyers on the anonymous Will Dissly or the always-disappointing Eric Ebron better open their check books. The post-Week 1 free agency wire is always my favorite day of the year – and based on the WhatsApp group chat, I’m truly excited to see how outrageous some of the bids will be.
Looking Ahead to Week 2
We have some fun match-ups this coming week, including THREE pitting 1-0 teams. That said, my favorite is likely the battle of the Morabitos, where my FIL will try and shake off a disastrous Week 1 Detroit D performance that cost him a win, to challenge his son, Carlos. I always like to ask Mrs. Riff Raff who she likes in the match-up, and it always ends up with her thinking I got one over on my FIL. Meanwhile, I’m excited for Fredo and Makese – two somewhat surprising 1-0 teams – squaring off against league heavy hitters (Fredo vs his mentor and inspirational guru, the commissioner; Makese vs Dorne).
That said, I think the most intriguing match-ups will happen in the 0-1 battles. Like I said earlier, Silvio started 0-3 before winning a championship last season, BUT we have FOUR winless teams that could see their chances take a hit with another L. Galen’s the Big Gronkowskis move straight into a battle with Stabs while Silvio and Vienna Sausages do battle elsewhere. In a league where 7 victories likely gets you an 8 seed in December, none of the teams want to be in a hole that requires them to run up 7 victories in 11 remaining match-ups after just 2 weeks.
Rivalry Match-up of the Week
Toby suffered the fate of Aaron Rodgers Sunday night, thinking he was going to win until Rodgers did Rodgers things against my Chicago Bears in the second half, losing by 15 to LKA! Nonetheless he performed admirably and now takes on Smeet – this is a fun one because both owners have been fleeced by Mark in trades involving Doug Baldwin in the last 4 weeks, but more importantly, this is a rivalry stemming from a bachelor party in Atlantic City where workout regiments and potential fisticuffs were discussed… Relax, these two kittens would never fight but the animosity remains, especially if chest jokes and grandmothers are involved.
Commissioner’s Pick: Toby in a walk
Good luck to owners this week and man, its so nice to talk football again!