Greetings, Ramblers! As you may or may not have known, the beautiful Mrs. Sausage surprised yours truly with an impromptu birthday trip to New Orleans this past weekend. It was an amazing trip and probably the most generous gift I’ve ever received. In the spirit of that tremendous generosity, I’ve decided to bless the culinary details of my trip with all my Ramblings Readers.
Obviously, one of the first things that comes to mind when you think about the Big Easy after beads, public intoxication and loss of upper body clothing, has to be the local cuisine. New Orleans is a city of many signature dishes from beignets to po’ boys, and crawfish to muffalettas. There are legitimately too many dishes to try and too many places to try them all at. In this column, we’ll see how the GMRRFA post-season matchups from this past weekend remind me of all the food I tasted.
The Swamp Platter @ Harbor Seafood & Oyster Bar:
Immediately after landing at Louis Armstrong Airport on Friday afternoon, we head to Harbor Seafood & Oyster Bar. I had read it was a good local spot and being in Kenner, pretty close to the airport. I was torn between the grilled calamari and the Swamp Platter, but figured the platter would be harder to find elsewhere, so that’s what I went with. The Swamp Platter gets its name from all of the proteins being indigenous swamp critters; in this case, fried crawfish tails, fried frog legs, alligator sausage, crawfish etoufee and turtle soup.
While everything tasted fine, it was nothing to write home about (which is usually the case at most fried seafood spots). A lot of interesting flavors were in the dish, preparing me for a weekend of Cajun/Creole spices and seasonings, with the edge probably with the frog legs, mostly because of just how much they reminded me of delicately fried chicken wings. But overall, it was more of a "say that you tried it" than anything else. That being said, Mrs. Sausage would not try anything on the plate and, as open-minded as I am, if I let myself think too hard about swamps and what I was eating, I can’t say that I blamed her.
Which leads us to the horrendous Bad Journeys vs Gruden’s Manifesto match-up. At 44.5 to 53.7, the scores in this game are definitely nausea-inspiring. Honestly, it’s way easier for me to stomach the Swamp Platter than dwelling too long on this game. I think Gruden’s Manifesto won, but in reality we all lost here.
The Charbroiled Oysters @ Drago’s
So take fresh oysters, ladle garlic butter all over them, sprinkle them with a Parmesan and Romano cheese blend and roast them over an open grill, and you get these delectable masterpieces. Honesty, these things are delicious, which is why, despite having sub-par everything else (including a salad and a side of asparagus), Drago’s was the only eating establishment we visited more than once, going for Saturday and Sunday dinner. Seriously, don’t bother ordering anything else. Between 2 nights, we must’ve wolfed down at least 6 dozen.
In the spirit of the two separate visits for Drago’s charbroiled oysters, are the 2 remaining loser’s bracket matchups (Kerryon Wayward Johnson vs Manhattan Indians, Honey Funchess of Oats vs In Robert Mueller We Trust). Not entirely sure who was favored where, but in the end Kerryon and Robert Mueller pulled out satisfying and decisive victories, in what may have been mistake as appetizers for the actual championship entrees. But it turns out, Coop and Toby would have beaten 4 of the 8 playoff teams, if they had qualified, in the same way you don't actually need an entree once you've tasted these beauties (the oysters, not Coop and Toby).
The Hangover Bowl @ Willa Jean’s
Mrs. Sausage and I wake up Saturday morning and head over to brunch at the highly acclaimed John Besh-restaurant group managed, Willa Jean. This restaurant was the hippest, most critically-acclaimed spot and seeing as how there was a 2 hour wait during an immense rainstorm, seemed like other people had bought into the popularity. Luckily, Mrs. Sausage is a planner and had made reservations weeks in advance to get us in the door with no wait.
Pictured above is their Hangover Bowl, braised short rib, nestled into grits and a poached egg to boot. John Besh reputation, a tenderly stewed piece of beef, topped with the creamy runny yolk of the egg? I already knew I was going to enjoy it.
The Trubisky Business vs Dude Where is my Carr match-up was equally unsurprising. Mostly due to his fire sale, the Commish had heavily handicapped himself in advance of this game. For the most part, I think most people were surprised this game ended as close as it did (I was personally rooting for the Commish), but in the end, FIL triumphed as expected.
The Fried Chicken @ Willie Mae’s Scotch House
This is the meal that officially took us over to the edge. This is the meal where we were clearly over matched. This is the meal that put the mirror to our face and told us we had demanded too much of our bodies.
This chicken is phenomenal and totally worth the trip out to Treme. It’s a well-respected classic and deservedly so. The crunch was formidable, yet delicately light at the same time. Dipped in a wet batter, the chicken is well-seasoned and definitely on the spicier side of the spectrum.
Thus enters the Carnival of Chaos vs Dorne Diredonkeys match-up. This game was a juggernaut, with both teams topping the league in scoring for the week. Zeke, Julio, Amari, Landry, Gronk and Kittle were trading touchdowns all day, just a wrecking crew of points being put up on both sides. Ultimately, Garcia’s team was just too much to handle. Seeing the sheer amount of points his team is capable of, especially considering Gurley didn't perform, this game and this ethereal plate of fried chicken had me reaching for a Tums Gas-X cocktail.
Everything @ Turkey and the Wolf
I’ll admit it: When Mrs. Sausage mentioned that she wanted to go to Turkey and the Wolf, I was a bit reluctant. With all the great food options and the run of meals we were having, going to what I wrongly assumed was a simple sandwich spot left a lot to be desired. However, I couldn’t have been more wrong. First off, we showed up unintentionally 10 minutes early and there was already a line forming for them to open a door. GOOD SIGN. Next, the 2nd person on line at was a priest. BETTER SIGN. And then it hit me that this priest was waiting on line on A SUNDAY AT 11AM!!! SIGN FROM GOD.
Collard Green Melt. Deviled Eggs Topped with Chicken Skin. Fried Chicharron with Hot Sauce and Herb Aioli. Two Orders of Fried Chicken Pot Pie with Tarragon Buttermilk. Don’t think, just go there. Everything was fantastic and, with the cold weather, could you imagine a more comforting bite of food than a light sugary popover filled with chicken pot pie? It was honestly one of the best meals I ever had, strongly anchored by the Collard Melt (slow-cooked collards, swiss cheese, pickled cherry pepper dressing, cole slaw, on rye bread), all of which was unexpected and surprisingly citrusy and bright.
So color me surprised when I saw league-favorite The Big Gronkowski lose handily to the denver ponyboys. It was always possibility that Carlos’ strong lineup had a chance to win this, but I don’t think anyone saw Tito Galen’s squad end up with such anemic scoring and not breaking 100 (98.5 respectivly). I mean, I think I speak for most of the playoff teams when I say, I’m totally ok with not having to deal with his team, but now we have to worry about Melvin Gordon returning for Carlos. This hot sauce laden lunch became the 2nd consecutive meal I had to follow with antacids. In New Orleans dining and fantasy football, everything comes at a price.
The Beignets @ Cafe du Monde
Monday morning, before heading out to the airport, we stop at Cafe du Monde for the required beignet eating. Up to this point, we had not tried any yet, but unlike some other iconic New Orleans dishes like the po’ boy or muffaletta, we were not going to miss out on these.
The bitter chicory coffee plays nicely with the sweetness of lightly fried puffs of dough, absolutely buried in powdered sugar. Upon first bite, the sugar is so light it is inhaled into your windpipe, causing you to choke slightly, before the puff pastry comforts you with its warm softness, ending in the delectable sweetness of the rest of the sugar.
The Vienna Sausages were terrified of its game against Team Motley, especially with Joe Mixon churning out carries. But in the end, my team prevailed barely, adding a last touch of sweetness to the end of a memorable birthday weekend.
See everyone next week after FIL handles his business and takes me out of the playoffs!
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