Well, now we've gone and done it - the Cleveland Browns and Buffalo Bills of the #GMRRFFA are finally the cream of the crop this week - after a humbling defeat, I was apprehensive to indulge in Fredo's Week 2 performance, nor was I excited to write 3,000 words on a team with the 10th highest point total for the week (Makese), but as any good commissioner knows, we gotta give the people what they want.
Check out a fun and surprising Week 2 recap, one in which I'm shocked at how comfortable I've become using words like "darling" or "kitten" or, even, "desperate," as is the case for some owners when discussing fantasy football.
Surprises Galore
If someone had told me in August that, of the two sets of teams - Silvio and Galen or Fredo and Makese - that one set would be 2-0 and the other would be 0-2, I would have bet my much-anticipated inheritance from Fredo’s dad the former would be 2-0. Alas, I would be completely wrong. At the onset of the early season, Fredo and Makese are the darlings of #GMRRFFA as both produced major upsets this week to remain undefeated. Let's remember they were #12 and #14, respectively, in the post-keepers power rankings and, while I would never make such claims, some owners argued they were league-wide lay-ups. Hence, the shock and surprise (i'd even be delighted if I hadn't lost to Fredo's newly-dubbed "The Pain Train").
First, there’s Fredo who eked out a Week 1 win over #Smeet before dropping 157 this week - 2nd in the league - to knock off the commish. I’m not sure how successful he can be long-term, as evident solely on his roster, which relies HEAVILY on Lions and Browns. His anemic Week 1 was a result of Stafford being abysmal, but Week 2 saw his Lions/Browns players post 98 points combined, up from just 64 in week 1 (with Golloday on the bench). If these five continue to shine plus Tevin Coleman and the Rams Defense outclass opponents, Fredo could be competitive throughout the season. He faces a tough test against the Gurley-led Stabs roster this week, but it’s definitely winnable.
Makese made serious noise in Week 1, beating Stabs and more impressively held off Dorne for a comfortable-ish Week 2 win, meaning he beat 2 of the 5 or 6 pre-season favorites right out of the gate (tie breaker advantage!). He may have some concerns though, considering his Week 2 only produced 116 points (2nd lowest of all winners and 10th best total). He faces a desperate 0-2 sex tourist this week (the 3rd pre-season favorite in a row) before a potential Week 4 match up of undefeated teams (Fredo) and LKA! In Week 5. Brutal schedule to start but getting 3 or 4 wins in the first five contests could position Makese for a return to the playoffs.
#Smeet sell off
Look, I’ve never seen a team call it a season after just one week before, like #Smeet did, but I don’t necessarily knock him. He knew from the get-go he wasn’t going to be viable, and now he’s positioning himself for a potential 2019 run. Selling high on Kelce and Gordon makes a ton of sense and an extra $70 next draft means he could own the draft. Twitter seems to agree with #Smeet on both proposals, FWIW. If he’s cool taking Ls in #GMRRFFA this season (like in life), he should be perfectly fine...
Purr-fect Kitten Bowl
That said, #Smeet battled his biggest rival, Toby, in the inaugural Kitten Bowl, and, no surprise, it went exactly as we’d expect, with Toby winning by 20+ over a depleted #Smeet roster, which ironically would’ve won by ten points if he hadn’t traded Kelce. More concerning, Toby not eclipsing 100 points this week should raise flags. Juju and OJ performed but not sure they can sustain 33/18, respectively. Toby needs Wentz back to form this week, or to trade for a potential homerun hitter like OBJ...
Pressure on LKA! Between being anointed the new #1 in the power rankings and the huge play for Kelce, LKA! has made it clear he’s in it to win the championship in 2018. Even with Kelce’s sick performance this week (32 points), Garcia didn’t have an easy win, beating Coop 150-138. There’s no doubt LKA! is stacked but when others are equaling or surpassing his weekly performance, that should be a concern to LKA! for spot losses throughout the season or, even more scary, in the playoffs.
FIL Reigns Supreme In Battle of Morabitos
With FIL heading east this week to hang with the junior Riff Raff, I for one was relieved when he put together a comfortable victory over his third favorite kin Carlos (for those counting at home, FIL ranks his kin as: Mrs Riff Raff, the commissioner, Carlos), meaning I won't have to hear how close he was to winning or why the League is bullshit (true story). Carried by AJ Green, the win was critical for FIL, considering Jay Ajayi may be hurt and Nick Foles is his starting QB at the moment, which isn’t good. Let’s imagine he bids $200 on Fitzmagic on Wednesday or he has to lean on Derek Carr for the remainder of the season... gulp.
Stabs Rebounds In an early deficit and facing 0-2, Stabs made a clear declaration:
It was of course premature - thanks to Gurley, Jones, Brandin Cooks and the Chicago Defense, Stabs posted 182 points this week (highest through 2 weeks), easily besting Galen by nearly 50. Let’s not sleep on the powerhouse, especially with his WRs clicking, something I’ve been concerned with earlier this season.
An Overwhelming Sense of Mediocrity
Welp, we knew parity is a thing in #GMRRFFA and that’s exactly what we have this week - 8 1-1 teams essentially reminds us that every W matters in the league, plus two 2-0 teams that scored 116 or less in one of their early victories. What’s more? 9 teams are averaging between 130-145 points already, and if this small sample data affirms anything, its pretty clear every week will have upsets and critical Ws.
Looking Ahead to Week 3
No undefeated teams face off, but some key match ups are happening throughout the league. I’m watching Coop and Vienna Sausages’ Jon’s match up of two 1-1 teams, both needing to build momentum for the season... I mentioned the Stabs/Fredo showcase too, and whomever wins needs to be a top 3 team in next week’s power rankings. Finally, desperate times are here for Galen and the sex tourist Silvio, both needing a W to avoid 0-3. Galen has Toby and Silvio has league darling 2-0 Makese.
Rivalry of the Week Well, Mark said it - this week’s rivalry match up pits Dorne against your illustrious commissioner, where the best regular season team and best post-season teams square off. Both at 1-1, the loser will be under .500 for the first time in league history. The rivalry stems from a long-forgotten trio to the Greenbriar in West Virginia, where long time golfing expert Mark and once-in-a-while mini-golfer, the commissioner, squared off at one of the finest courses on the east coast. To everyone’s surprise, the commissioner remained competitive throughout, trailing the far-superior Dorne owner by one stroke on the par-5 18th, where the commish made a two-put par. Meanwhile, Dorne’s double bogey cost him the W and years of embarrassment, which he’s neglected to publicize to anyone, including Mrs Dorne, since the event occurred. His animosity still reeks through his friendly exterior, and revenge is on his mind this week as the overwhelming favorite.
Sponsor Shoutouts!
A very sincere shout out to this week's faux-sponsors of #GMRRFFA, including @MambaUSA and @Target, which is currently running its 2018 car seat trade-in program to get 20% off a new car seat! Thanks to both and I'll send you my paypal account!
Interested in being a faux-sponsor of #GMRRFFA? Email us at commissioner@riffrafffootball.com