Week 3 in #GMRRFFA finally began offering us some clue as to what direction teams will be moving in the 2018 campaign - this may be the first time I made minimal adjustments, especially at the top and the bottom of the rankings - and in Week 4 we could see the best of the best take major steps towards distancing themselves from the would-be contenders.
Let's dive in and enjoy what's sure to be the best 2,400 words on your favorite fantasy football league that you'll get today!
The Non-Starters
14. Bad Journeys (Smeet)
Record: 0-3
Last Ranking: 14th
Analysis: #Smeet should take comfort in finding some stability in his life – seriously, have you read how his mind works? – stability is a good thing for him. That said, being in the basement isn’t for a lack of trying. A feverish comeback on Monday night against FIL was spoiled by less than 7 points (hey #Fitzmagic’s 3 INTs didn’t help), and the 139 point total would’ve actually beaten 8 teams in Week 3. #Smeet made headlines again this week, shipping one of his few remaining assets – Keenan Allen – to the Vienna Sausages for Austin Ekler and draft dollars, which he now has $400 for the 2019 draft! Here’s hoping he remembers to spend those dollars next August, but in the meantime, maybe #Smeet has a chance to move out of the cellar next week…
13. In Bob Mueller we Trust (Toby)
Record: 1-2
Last Ranking: 13th
Analysis: The only reason Toby didn’t move down after an abysmal Week 3, the second in which he posted under 100 points, is because he beat #Smeet in Week 2, but otherwise, this season looks to be dead man walking for Toby. His roster has some talent – including his man crush JuJu – but the roster lacks any consistency. Dion Lewis posted 22 in Week 1, but only 13 more points since then. Old Man Fitzgerald (sorry, I still love him) dropped 14.6 in Week 1, but less than nine points since then. Promising rookie Phillip Lindsay had two double digit weeks before stupidly throwing punches in Week 3 and being ejected with just 2 pints (Side note: Can someone explain to me why throwing a punch at someone wearing a helmet is a good idea?). After some tough weeks, this is obviously the bounce back week for Toby, who faces your illustrious commish, so that’s something to look forward to. Otherwise, Toby may want to consider a home sale before contenders run out of money.
12. Dead Sea (Silvio)
Record: 0-3
Last Ranking: 11th
Analysis: Welp, the reigning champ starts 0-3 again, but the saltiest man in America came to a realization I’ve been stating since July, and began dismantling his team, trading DeAndre Hopkins to the commish for the full max ($62) this week. I don’t blame him in a lot of ways, but his studs just aren’t performing. Russell Wilson is well below his 2017 average (down five points from 2017) and Zeke isn’t exceeding a 20-point game average like last year. Getting the max for Hopkins was a smart move and I’m not convinced Silvio won't be competitive the rest of the season, but the writing is on the wall for someone I predicted would make a Final Four appearance in 2018.
So, You're Saying there's a Chance
11. Trubisky Businnes (Commish)
Record: 1-2
Last Ranking: 12th
Analysis: I’m already anticipating hearing gripes from some owners – Silvio, in particular – about moving up one spot despite an underwhelming Week 3 loss, but since its power rankings and not necessarily based on Ws and Ls, hear me out: After a tough loss, the commish shipped out TY Hilton for Nuk, a bump on average of 2.5 points, pitting two of the most explosive wide receivers together in Hopkins and Mike Evans. All season, I’ve been a believer in adding home run hitters, like Dorne adding OBJ, players who can average high teens, but could potentially explode for 25-30 points in any given week. TY Hilton doesn’t offer that potential, but Hopkins does. Meanwhile, I am all but certain one of my Kickers will score this week and Cousins has a nice bounce back game (gulp) tonight in LA. Adding McCoy back to the starting line-up is also a plus, so basically the point is I’m gonna ride-or-die with this roster, that could potentially post the highest point total any given week.
10. Vienna Sausages (Jon Del)
Record: 1-2
Last Ranking: 8th
Analysis: Resident pot-stirrer Jon Del made a splash on the trade market, sending Ekler and draft dollars to #Smeet for the possibly-banged up Allen. Additionally, Cam Newton has been pretty spectacular so far this season, averaging just under 30 points per game. That said, his roster is only averaging 9th highest in the league and, while I’d argue Le’Veon Bell being absent hurts his capabilities, Jon Del is the only person in America that doesn’t want him traded to the Jets. That said, if he’s dealt, the Sausage King immediately has a second RB1 to his lineup, which features Buck Allen as a starter. Jon Del’s season literally can go either direction in the next few weeks, so its worth staying tuned…
9. Denver ponyboys (Carlos)
Record: 1-2
Last Ranking: 6th
Analysis: Ok, this is getting serious for the one-time title contender. After a monstrous W over Tito Galen in Week 1, when he posted 158 points, Carlos has literally been a shell of himself, losing two in a row to FIL and LKA! If he’d lost by a closer number, I don’t think Carlos drops 3 spots, but he posted just 117 last week, 5th lowest of the week, one week after dropping the 4th lowest total. Removing Week 1, his average weekly total is a staggering 17.5 points less than the League average (which includes Toby and #Smeet, both of whom have posted less than 100 points twice this season). Adding Hilton and Leonard Fournette returning should help, but there are cracks in a once-formidable roster.
8. Dude Where is My Carr (FIL)
Record: 2-1
Last Ranking: 10th
Analysis: Unsurprisingly underrated here at #GMRRFFA, FIL has put together a solid two game win streak against less-than-impressive opponents in Carlos and #Smeet, but he’s posting an average of 140 points in those games, meaning he’s not eking out victories like some teams (ahem, Makese). I’m secretly hoping he gives up on the under-utilized Duke Johnson, largely because I’ve spent more time than I wanted so far hearing about the Browns, but a roster featuring Saquon, AJG, Robert Woods and a QB who gets to play the Saints every week, could be pretty competitive. He’s got a very interesting match-up against Dorne this week, and I think a win means we all need to take him more seriously. (Side note: Great visit from FIL and Grandma Riff Raff, which included oysters, beer, fantasy football and a few curse-laden rants about shitty trade offers and the demise of #GMRRFFA… Can’t wait for Christmas!).
If It Could Be Anyone, Why Not Me?
7. The Pain Train (Fredo Maisel)
Record: 2-1
Last Ranking: 5th
Analysis: I mean, its not for a lack of trying, but Fredo was quietly over-matched by Stabs last weekend. I’m not sure if this team is good just yet, or if the competition has been bad before Week 3 (hey, I lost to this guy in Week 2 so I’m not just knocking #Smeet), but Fredo’s two wins came against teams with a combined 1-5 record and the 8th and 13th scoring teams in the league. On the other hand, Fredo has been solid, despite being just the 7th highest scoring team in the league. Subtract his 94-point performance in Week 1 (#Smeet!), and he’s averaging 147.5 points per week, 19 points higher than the league average and good for 3rd best in the league.
6. Kerryon my Wayward Johnson (Coop)
Record: 2-1
Last Ranking: 9th
Analysis: There’s no doubt that Coop’s squad is easily the most underrated team in #GMRRFFA, falling below the ranks of the high-profile favorites and Cinderella stories, but his team is getting better every week. His lone loss, to LKA!, makes his 2-1 record look like everyone elses, but Coop is the third-highest scoring team in the league and his scores have increased from 130 in week 1 to 138 in a week 2 loss to 148 in week 3. His team is a model of consistent improvement thus far this season. In fact, the 138 points he posted in the Week 2 loss was the fifth highest total of the week, and with the rise of Calvin Ridley as a must-start, he’s only getting better even with some potential holes in his line-up. He’s facing proverbial cry baby Dead Sea this week before a potential blockbuster against Dorne in Week 5. I think this team is real, and we should watch out.
5. Dorne Diredonkeys (Mark)
Record: 2-1
Last Ranking: 7th
Analysis: Social media and corporate relations icon Mark is having a strong few days, easily dispatching of his favorite fantasy football commish last week and his roster is rolling, especially now that Chris Carson is cemented as the Seahawks’ starting running back and Pat Mahomes continues to post record-breaking numbers (also, I throw up when I think of Michael Thomas in a PPR as a $20 keeper, so I’m moving on). Dorne could be even higher in the standings in coming weeks, especially given Gronk’s less-than-dominant performance thus far. In Week 1, Gronk DOUBLED his Weeks 2 and 3 performance (12.6 combined), so this team could literally get better without making a single move. There’s still a hole at RB, but if AP continues to perform as a top-10 player, Dorne could be celebrating another deep post-season run in December.
4. Team Motley (Makese)
Record: 3-0
Last Ranking: 4th
Analysis: One of the last undefeateds in #GMRRFFA and my personal bandwagon team, Makese has literally defied the odds to an improbable run. But there are multiple caveats to this team – first and foremost, are his point totals… TEN teams are outscoring Makese through three weeks – that is astounding. In week 2, he was the 9th highest scoring team with just 110 points, and, in week 3, he was 11th highest in scoring. Of the 14 teams in those weeks who lost their match-ups, compared to Makese those weeks, their combined record for weeks 2 and 3 would have been 8-6! Its insane… there are holes everywhere in the lineup, especially at RB and WR, and the Josh Gordon trade needs to work out. I love this team and its owner, but candidly I could see them going 9-4, or 4-9 at this point.
The Best Around
3. The Big Gronkowskis (Tito Galen)
Record: 1-2
Last Ranking: 3rd
Analysis: Finally, the real Tito Galen showed up, and spared me from taking serious actions and dropping him in the power rankings. There’s not much to say about his methodical win over Toby, but he’s the third best scoring team in the league, averaging 142 points on the back of a stacked roster, and there are areas of potential improvement. Kareem Hun and DJ simply haven’t impacted games like they had in the past (though Hunt was solid in Week 3 with two TDs); Hunt is simply not getting the passing looks he received last year from new rocket man Patrick Mahomes (just one catch) while the Arizona offense has been an albatross. Plus, David Njoku could benefit from Baker-mania, especially as a safety valve for the rookie QB. The prime match up of the weekend will show off Tito Galen vs LKA!, the winner likely to be #1 in the power rankings next week.
2. Let’s Eat a God Damn Snack (Stabs)
Record: 2-1
Last Ranking: 2nd
Analysis: Look, the originator of #FPD is boasting the 2nd highest point total but he’s also had the fourth highest point totals scored against him through three weeks. In fact, Makese scored 146 points against Stabs in Week 1 (Stabs’ only loss) and hasn’t been even close since. In the past two weeks, Stabs easily dispatched two of the top teams (Tito Galen by 48 and formerly undefeated Fredo by 20). He now has a huge rivalry match-up with the Vienna cartel in week 4 and Denver ponyboys in Week 5, two teams he’s outpacing on average by nearly 23 points combined. In a blink of an eye, Stabs could be rolling at 4-1 before Coop in Week 6 and then scrubs like #Smeet and the Commish, meaning he could be 7-1 before we even know it.
1. Lights, Kamara, Action! (The Purveyor of Death/Garcia)
Record: 3-0
Last Ranking: 1st
Analysis: Not only does Garcia have the highest scoring team in the league, his numbers have also consistently risen, from 136 in week 1 to 169 by week 3. His lowest score in a week is higher than the best output of three teams, which is insane. His highest is the third best to date in 2018, and he’s outscoring fellow 3-0 team Makese by an average of 27 points per week. Some may consider him Saruman from “The Lord of the Rings,” but I consider him more like the Death Star, which may have some flaws in ts design. I’m not sold on Alfred Morris being a starter every week and, at some point, the Lions’ nor the Bengals’ offenses aren’t going to be as solid as they have been (Golden Tate and Tyler Boyd). Even more, Christian McCaffrey has played 94% and 100% of his team’s snaps the past few weeks and something tells me there could be durability issues. But otherwise, this team, like the Death Star, is near-flawlessly designed, and shit, maybe Julio Jones scores a touchdown some day soon (Matt Ryan threw as many TDs to Calvin Ridley in Week 3 as he has to Julio in the last 19 games). Perhaps Tito Galen can channel his inner-Skywalker and pick up a YUGE win.
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