Welcome back to the #GMRRFFA’s weekly recap – the SECOND of five columns this week on riffrafffootball.com – where we tackle some of the most pressing observations of the week that was in the most entertaining fantasy league I’m in. I’m excited, juvenated to get in to the week which saw a controversy nearly two decades in the making officially be resolved, a historical deluge of poor performances in the league, a never-too-early glimpse at the playoffs, and the sneaky rise of FIL, who’s quietly become a force to reckon with in the league. Finally, the only way to top a near-20 year rivalry of the week is to find a 25-ish year rivalry of the week…
Let’s get going because my editors indicated I only have 3,500 words this week…
The Official Creator of FPD is…
Well, I highlighted last week the big Rivalry (so big, I capitalized the R in rivalry mid-sentence) between Stabs and the Sausage King of Vienna and how the two star-crossed friends-turned-enemies-turned-frenemies had a falling out once upon a time in Providence. Its no surprise that their Week 4 match-up would be the final determent of who actually created Filipino Pride Day. The rivalry pitted two strongest ethnic groups in #GMRRFFA against one another. In one corner, the Filipinos, the Sausage King and Tito Galen; in the other, the Italians who felt their day had been stolen from them (also, side note, happy Columbus Day on Monday!), Stabs, FIL, the Commish, Fredo Maisel, #Smeet, and Silvio.
As would be expected, the drama was short-lived; Stabs easily dismissed his former college roommate, 149-102, with Deshaun Watson, Todd Gurley, and Brandin Cooks easily besting the Sausage King’s top performer (Antonio Brown, who’s on the market). With that, I think its only fitting to let the official creator of FPD make an official statement:
Tough Luck for Tito Galen
The once-and-future #GMRRFFA champion suffered a tough loss at the hands of league powerhouse and Purveyor of Death, LKA!’s Garcia, 184.5 to 156.5. Diving in, Tito Galen had double digits from his entire starting roster aside from his Defense and Kicker, but LKA! did even better, with only one player in single digits. In fact, Garcia’s death squad had four players post 20+, including the insanely-amazing Alvin Kamara once again dropping more than 40 points (his second of the season).
You have to feel bad for Tito Galen, who is third in the league in scoring with 146 points per week, but he’s also faced the stiffest challenges as his opponents' total score is the highest in the league, averaging 154 points per week. By comparison, the league average this season is just 129.5… Titio Galen’s opponents scoring 25 points per week higher than the league average is insane, and ultimately driving the poor guy to Singapore for a “medicinal solution” to his fantasy football woes. In his three losses, Tito Galen’s opponents scored the highest points in the week twice (both 180+) or the second highest, when Tito lost by 1.6 points to Carlos in Week 1.
The good news? He gets #Smeet, the Commish, Mark, and Fredo Maisel in the next four weeks, averaging a combined 125.3 points per week…
Historically Bad?
A few years back, I organized a bad quarterback league with some of the owners, based off the former Grantland website (RIP), and it was fun to watch the albatross of poor performances. Today, it wouldn’t work, in part because I would never do individual tallies plus QB play in the league is so good these days (#Fitztragic three 3 straight 400 yard games in 2018; the Bears have FOUR total in franchise history). (Speaking of historically bad, two pics below you can't unsee--- you were warned).
That said, I get similar enjoyment watching some of the real bad teams in #GMRRFFA. I can’t say we are collectively as bad as 2017 (in Week 1 alone last year, we had 6 teams fail to eclipse 100 points; in 2018, we’ve had 7 under 100 points in four weeks), but man, is it getting depressing?
If not for a late Philip Lindsey score, Toby would've tied the 2nd highest market for consecutive weeks with less than 100 points in #GMRRFFA (FIL in 2017, bested only by Makese’s four straight last year).
This year, both Toby and #Smeet have a unique opportunity – Makese posted under 100 SEVEN times last year with Stephen Gostowski and his murders’ row of crap; Toby has two so far and #Smeet has three such performances. In fact, #Smeet is on pace to break Makese’s record by Week 12 and Toby still has a shot. Oy ve…
FIL in the Blanks
Dude Where is My Carr? is still a stupid team name, but can we send some love to the old man by the (Pacific) Ocean? Since a Week 1 loss, FIL has run three straight wins in a row (including over Carlos and Mark, so nothing to sneeze at), and his next three weeks could all be realistic Ws, facing your illustrious Commish in Week 5, Fredo in Week 6, and Toby in Week 7. Two weeks ago, he made a reasonable trade for Matt Ryan who has been lights out the last two weeks (91 points the last two weeks) to go along with studs in Barkley, Woods and AJG. FIL has also remained consistent, averaging 139 per week over his three wins (ie no duds like some people…).
Top Four Are For Real
This felt like a good time to dive in to our top four teams – LKA!, Let’s Eat a God Damn Snack, Dude Where is My Carr?, and Team Motley – a combined 14-2. Of the two losses, Stabs lost to Motley (FIL lost to Coop in Week 1), meaning they’re 13-1 against the remaining ten teams in the league, and averaging 15 points higher than the league overall. Couple that with the Cinderella Makese posting a solid 160 last week (after a few low totals), and perhaps we’re seeing a much different top four than originally anticipated.
Playoffs? Really?
Yes, yes I’m ready to mention the post season, even with nine weeks left to go. First, if you’re undefeated, you probably need 3 more wins to get in to the playoffs. On average, the 8th seed had 6 or 7 wins in the past two seasons. More so, I think we know who the top 4 are (Garcia, Makese, FIL, and Stabs), but there’s a mish-mash of 2-2 and 1-3 teams so a friendly reminder that head-to-head victories are the tie breaker in post-season positioning. For example, your Commish lost to both Mark and Fredo, meaning they have a distinct advantage if we finish we the same record in Week 13. If the playoffs started today, every 2-2 team sans Coop would be in but just remember every week matters. (Also, its unofficial, but #Smeet is already out of the playoff chase).
Weekly Preview
And we are here again, a quick snapshot of Week 5, and the premiere #GMRRFFA match-up HAS to be the Purveyor of Death vs Cinderella pitting the last two undefeated teams in the league against one another. LKA! is the obvious favorite but here’s hoping Makese finds a way… Meanwhile, one contest with both opponents at 2-2 could prove pivotal (Coop vs Mark) in the long run, and I’m already angst-ridden over my pending battle with FIL, whom I hold dear BUT I NEED A F*CKING WIN. Its actually a lose/lose situation for me; either I lose, or I win and spend all of next week assuring Mrs. Riff Raff I didn’t cheat to beat her pops.
Rivalry of the Week
The Sausage King of Vienna returns to the Rivalry of the Week for the second week in a row, pitting Jon against a love-scorned Fredo Maisel, who spent 25 years building love and trust with his closet (I meant closet, not closest because Fredo, I know it was you) best friend, only to have the Sausage King rip out his heart, mush it up, and turn it into mashed potato bites last year. In 2017, the Sausage King was fervently searching for a new location for his base of operations, and seriously considered a facility near Saskatchewan, NJ, much to the delight of Fredo who had bought there upon learning a Ruby Tuesday’s would be built nearby. Subsequently, in one of the greatest heel turns of all time, the Sausage King took the commish’s lead, turned it into a more tax-friendly opportunity and situated his operations in Vienna (hence the name). A scorned-Fredo Maisel pledged revenge like he was the lead in El Chapo, swearing to destroy the lifelong friend who turned his back on the sensitive pain train… This week, their new-ish hatred will take its next chapter in one of the most heated rivalries in all of sports.
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