Hey Owners,
Guess who’s back to offer thoughtful incites on a fake football league? This guy!!! I know you missed me; I have screen shots from a few of you I’m not afraid to share to prove it so keep your witty comments to yourself… Also, do NOT ignore the attached photo. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then 4 pictures is worth at least one unicorn.
What’s in a Name?
I admit I was down on him from the onset of the 2017 season, but at this point we have to give Stabs his due, and not only because he knocked me off this week in head-to-head competition. In any case, sincere props to Stabs and his adopted Kaeptain America team. I was not-at-all fortunate to spend a few hours with Stabs during the Stabs Twins Conference Saturday in DC, and while he’s allegedly funny, did you all know he’s keeping the adopted team name he inherited from last year’s owner until he loses? Whatever the reason, Stabs is the sole remaining undefeated team, and two games up for his division. Not sure he’s the team to beat (seriously, one bad game from the Packers and his team is toast), but he’s proven a consistent performer and, to be honest, he’s got a few cupcakes up over the next 2 weeks (looking at you Makese and Pete) so he could end up 7-0 at the midway point of the season.
OBJ is Toast
The other top team in the league, reigning champ Dorne Diredonkeys, lost OBJ this weekend, and now replacing him with the immortal Rishard Matthews… Following Dorne’s first loss this weekend, I’m guessing there’s a potential dip in Mark’s productivity, and maybe he’s not a shoe-in championship-bound team any longer.
Playoffs?!?!
Tough loss for Team Toby, who everyone roots against… 0-5 means he’s team is going to play spoilers for the remainder of the season while he plans for the loser’s bracket post-season. Sad!!! We have two 1-4 teams too, Makese and A Song of Matty Ice, who got a big win this weekend over the Wholesale Porn Dealers, but I’m pretty certain both Makese and Eric Garcia need to pitch a near perfect game the rest of the way. I’m guessing no one’s making the playoffs with 6 losses, especially with head-to-head match-ups determining seeding, so stay tuned for these guys as they could join Toby in their early off-season planning. Bad timing as they play the best two teams this weekend – Makese vs Kaeptain America and Garcia vs Dorne…
Records can be Misleading
Collecting Ls for the playoffs aside, don’t rely too much on records. As we know, teams that lose each week are in part facing other teams who may have fantastic production in a given week… Dorne suffered his first loss while posting nearly 113 points against Anu Start (great new name and huge win for Silvio), but Dorne’s points would’ve beaten NINE teams this week. With that in mind, I had to spend a few minutes looking at some inflated records vs points… so here we go:
The league average per week for points scored is 111.9 points per week, but three teams with winning records and currently in the playoffs – Shut the Luck Up, A Team Has no Name, and Trubisky Business are all averaging way less than that… In fact, only FIVE teams exceed the league average for scoring (Dorne, Kaeptain, the Big Gronk, the Denver Ponyboys, and ANUS), which is frigging crazy, and they combined average 126 points per week… the remaining 9 teams’ weekly average? A paltry 104.1 points per week…
Because I have to Mention Did everyone notice that Friday night trade? I oft believe TBG’s owner Galen to be one of the smarter owners in the league, but I was puzzled that he traded off Marcus Mariota (who was hurt) and Marqueese Lee to Toby for Big Ben – Galen needed a QB with Brees on the bye week, but given up keeper status on Mariota ($21 next year) and his upside for one week of Big Ben was odd. We can’t predict the Big Ben 5 INT day and a measely 4.1 points (which, ironically was his margin of victory over Makese), but I wouldn’t have given Mariota away. Instead, adding him to the IR for the week and taking a flag on a free agent QB probably would’ve been the wiser move (Hoyer had 28 against Indy, McCown had 16.7, etc). Its all moot of course because I’ll face TBG this week and Brees will hang 50 on me, but there was a savier move…
Looking Ahead This week’s got all kinds of interesting match-ups aside from the aforementioned 1-4 match-ups and anything involving Toby … I’m not looking forward to squaring off against the 4-1 TBG after the scoring paragraph, but I need a win… STLU is looking to continue a SURPRISING run vs MenJulio (Check out the Trade that Wasn’t Update on the league message board), who needs to get on a streak (also, Matty, congrats on being the first league owner to have a non-playing in your starting line-up last week!)… ANUS and Vienna Sausages are squaring off in a slightly-appropriately named pairing… and I think the biggest match-up is the Denver ponyboys vs A Team Has No Name. Last week, I would’ve said Coop’s ATHNN was a top-four squad and Carlos’ ponyboys were scrubs, but this one could be a huge win as we look to judge Carlos’ viability.
That’s all for now… oh wait, there’s more?????????
Mad love for the attached adorable photo of the once and future unicorn, who’s getting all married next weekend… I dubbed the photo “A Nu Start” and hope to see it on a Christmas card this December.
Ciao!
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