Well, Week 7 lived up to its potential as a blockbuster affair – we had the top 2 teams in the Fire Division square off, a clash of the Morabitos came down to one of them simply not caring, a wedding coupled with an epic comeback, Toby living up to disappointing expectations, and Deshone Kizer and Blake Bortles making starting appearances for two teams going in different directions, and the porn wholesalers receiving some much-lobbied attention…
A Nu Season?
First, congrats to Silvio on his nuptials, but more importantly his Week 7 got off to a rocky start. Coop’s A Team Has No Name rolled out Thursday evening with Amari Cooper and Tyreek Hill lighting up the scoreboard, combining for 75.2 points which is a monster performance (by comparison, 3 times this season a team scored less than Cooper & Hill for an entire week). Coop ultimately put up 159.1 points, the fifth highest total through 7 weeks in the league. Fortunately for Silvio, his A+ stars showed up this week, with Ezekial Elliot dropping 43 points and Carson Wentz completing the epic comeback with 38 points last night, including 4 touchdowns. Tough break for Coop, who has now dropped his 4th straight game and on the outside looking in on the playoff hunt (he’s also really salty about this loss, so agitating the bear is something you do at your own risk)…
Are the Denver ponyboys really not paying attention?
I gave both Morabitos love last week (which was surprisingly ignored by both members of my own family), and their epic clash led to John’s Shut the Luck Up winning by a fairly comfortably 108.4-89.9 margin. In a text exchange with the entire Morabito clan, Carlos noted that “…[it] just wasn’t my week” on Sunday… well, bad news for the oft-unengaged Carlos. Coupled with his kicker being shut out, Carlos never bothered to swap out Leonard Fournette or Willie Snead, both out in Week 7 with injuries. His bench might not have helped him, but there were multiple WRs and RBs in free agency who scored double digits and might have made him a bit more competitive against his pops. Now he’s 4-3, not 5-2 and leading the Fury Division. Taking a deeper dive, Carlos has made ONE transaction since the draft (trading Eli and Blount to me for Dak and Eric Decker back on September 12th). Otherwise, Carlos hasn’t made a single free agent acquisition or otherwise. Last week, I pontificated on whether or not Carlos cares, and at 4-3 he sort of does, but let’s see how the remainder of the season shakes out before delivering a final verdict.
Quarterbacking in a time of Crisis
Mad props to the Vienna Sausages for taking a flyer on Deshon Kizer this week, even if he dropped a goose egg in Jon’s win over Me’nJulio. Also, in the world of bad quarterbacks, the reeling Kaeptain America picking up Blake Bortles. On the surface this appears to be a good idea, as he dropped 20.1 on the Colts despite the Kaeptain losing his match-up. With the Kaeptain now tied for first in the Fury Division following two straight losses, Bortles eclipsed 20 points for just the second time this year; needless to say, I don’t know if Stabs can rely on Bortles in place of an injured Aaron Rodgers for the remainder of the season, though its enjoyable to watch Kaeptain’s team suffer with a roster of shitty Green Bay Packers while offering him Eli Manning in far-fetched trade proposals.
The Dornish Strike Back
After losing his first game of the season in Week 5 along with OBJ for the season, Dorne managed a measly 76 points last week before squeaking by against bottom feeder ASOMIF. This week, he faced angry Big Gronk in a match-up to determine poll position in the Fire Division, and Dorne rebounded in a big way by soundly defeating the much-maligned Gronks (who are on their own two-game losing streak) to secure sole possession of first place. Even better for Dorne, his one-game lead is over STLU, who he beat in Week 1, meaning he’s essentially up two games for first place over STLU and with this week’s win, 3 over sad Gronks. In fact, he’s close to securing the first playoff spot in the league already, in part because of early season head-to-head wins over 2 of the 3 3-4 teams…
Can’t Forget
Solid win by the porn dealers, who knocked off the Bortles-led Kaeptain America to save his season and keep pace for the playoffs. Pete needed the win after suffering 3 straight losses (and he’s also expressed a desire for some love in these weekly recaps because I’ve largely ignored his general mediocrity)… Also, sorry Makese as I totally jinxed you last week about potentially running the table against a weak schedule. Congratulations on reminding the league of your team's mediocrity (also, happy belated birthday!).
Playoffs?
Yes, a quick snapshot at the playoffs for all of you as we have 6 weeks remaining… a quick glimpse at seeding if the season ended today is below. Right now, we have 7 teams with records over 500, and given the parity in this league, I anticipate 7-8 wins will likely be needed to sneak in to the playoffs. Even more, be mindful that records are misleading in here. I’m 5-2 and currently projected as the third seed but I am 7th in scoring average overall. Top scorer? Its Carlos and he’s only the 5th seed while not caring about fantasy football (which means he’ll probably win the championship). 6 weeks left and everyone still technically has a shot, even Makese and ASOMIF at 2-5 but there’s no room for error.
1 – Dorne (6-1)
2 – Kaeptain (5-2)
3- Trubisky (5-2)
4 – STLU (5-2)
5 – ponyboys (4-3)
6 – the desperate for a win Gronks (4-3)
7 – Vienna Sausages (4-3)
8 – ANUS (3-4)
9 – ATHNN (3-4)
10 – Porn dealers (3-4)
Looking Ahead
Week 8 has some intriguing match-ups – the 4-3 what should i dress up for Halloween as Gronks vs the 3-4 ATHNN (someone’s gotta win); 5-2 STLU vs the 3-4 Porn dealers (a win and pete gets real, well-earned love); 6-1 Dorne vs the 4-3 Vienna Sausages (bloated record vs unlucky scoring match-ups); and a big Fury Division match-up of 5-2 Kaeptain (blake borles or injured aaron rodgers?) vs 4-3 ponyboys (ignores recaps like the plague).
Good luck gentlemen – stay thirsty my friends.
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